IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart on the right shows figures of annual coffee and meat consumption.

The bar chart on the right shows figures of annual coffee and meat consumption.
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The following bar chart describes the annual consumption of coffee and
meat
Use synonyms
 amongst three European
countries
Use synonyms
, three
Asian
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 and the only American country, the USA. The variables involved in
this
Linking Words
 double bar chart are the country and kg per person for both
food
Change to a plural noun
foods
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be illustrated that
meat
Use synonyms
 is by far the most consumed product.
In addition
Linking Words
, the USA
meat
Use synonyms
 consumers are widely attracted to
this
Linking Words
 product, they eat approximately three
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 more than
Asian
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 combined.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
European
Correct article usage
the European
show examples
 population consume in
a
Change the article
an
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 interval from 60 to 90 kg, being surpassed by
American
Correct article usage
the American
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 people.
However
Linking Words
,
European
Correct article usage
the European
show examples
 population
take
Wrong verb form
has taken
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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leadership in
coffee's
Change noun form
coffee
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 consumption.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the range of dispersion is close in front of American and
Asian
Use synonyms
 nations. In spite of
this
Linking Words
,
Asian
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 show good
Kurtosis's
Change noun form
Kurtosis
show examples
 variation because the variance between both factors
are
Change the verb form
is
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 closer than
Change preposition
in others
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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countries
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
meat
Use synonyms
 as a favourite good is incredibly accepted by most of the First-World nations.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the coffee is vaguely eaten.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words meat, countries, asian with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual consumption
  • millions of tonnes
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • steady increase/decrease
  • per capita consumption
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • economic factors
  • cultural preferences
  • global market
  • demand and supply
  • statistics
  • kilograms per annum
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