IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology that can prevent and solve crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #advances #technology #crimes
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Crimes
 have always been an impediment to the development of society. Over the ages, as the range of violations has increased, the investigators have refined the ways to solve the transgressions.
As a result
, it is true that the crime rate is decreasing
due to
 progress in
technology
that is
 used to resolve criminal activities. With the onset of forensic science, brutal acts like murder and rape can be accurately solved using blood samples, fingerprints, skin patches, or hair and dental samples. Earlier, it was dicey ground as the results were mistake-prone. But now, courts can rely on
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the
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DNA examination
due to
 its high percentage of conclusive nature. It not only allows the judge to sort out the highly complicated
cases
 but
also
 helps to reopen
the
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past
cases
 and pass a legitimate verdict. Digitalization of criminal records and investigation data will help
the
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detectives and police
to
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track down suspects or criminals.
This
 will
also
 deter
crimes
 at an early stage. The presence of tracking devices,
as well as
 monitoring devices like CCTVs, Electronic Tagging,
Tracking
Correct word choice
and Tracking
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 devices, have brought the rate of thefts under control. Even accidents
due to
 rash driving have been reduced
due to
 the traffic cameras and speed trackers.
Moreover
, social media is an important medium to make the public aware of cybercrimes and fraudulent
cases
.
For example
, RBI has begun to advertise on different platforms
in
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the various ways cyberbullies steal money from bank accounts. Earlier, some people even used social media like Facebook,
Correct word choice
and Whatsapp
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Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
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 to steal identity, trick people
to steal
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into stealing
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 money
as well
as
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and
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 engage in human trafficking. But now, the public has become acquainted with different ways to protect them and is on the alert not to fall prey to hackers and other criminals.
Nonetheless
, the advancement of
technology
 has
also
 led to an increase in the variety of
crimes
.
For example
, in the past,
cases
 of cybercrimes were nil. But now, they are on the rise. As our investigators are using different high-profile techs to solve
crimes
,
the
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criminals can
also
 gain access to
such
technology
. Fortunately, every problem has a solution, and our brave warriors are capable of finding them.
Thus
, in my opinion, in recent times, police and investigators have been successfully able to avert certain frauds, reduce crime rates and protect people with the help of advanced
technology
.
Submitted by ilyosov2003 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction presents the main argument clearly and the conclusion summarises the points effectively. A more distinct stance in the introduction would strengthen the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and data to support your main ideas. This will help in achieving a higher score in task response.
task achievement
Expand on the counterargument presented to demonstrate a balanced analysis and critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • CCTV (Closed-Circuit Television)
  • Deterrent
  • Forensic science
  • DNA testing
  • Digital fingerprinting
  • Analytics
  • Predictive policing
  • Cybercrime
  • Encryption
  • Dark web
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Community policing
  • Public awareness
  • Law enforcement agencies
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