You want to start your own small business.Write a letter to ask a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. What kind of business you want to start How much money you need The length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

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Dear Madam I wanted to
startmy
Correct your spelling
start my
own small business.I am writing to ask about obtaining a business
loan
Use synonyms
to finance my new company.I am hoping you would finance my company with some document
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
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so that I can apply for the
loan
Use synonyms
.I have
compeleted
Correct your spelling
completed
my
gradutain
Correct your spelling
graduation
graduating
from the University of California and my major was marketing.Now I am interested
to start
Change preposition
in starting
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new
Correct article usage
a new
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clothes shop of my own and need a
loan
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to support it. I own the location of the shop and have some prior experience
of
Change preposition
apply
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working at
large
Add an article
a large
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clothes shop. I can provide 50% of the fund requirement and need another $5000 as a
loan
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from your bank. I can repay the
loan
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amount with interest within 2 years.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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I need
three
Correct determiner usage
a
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months
Correct your spelling
three-month
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grace period before I start repaying my monthly instalment. I would really appreciate it if you could send me details of the
loan
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,
monthlyi
Correct your spelling
monthly
instalment amount and so on.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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forward me the documents. I need to fill in and submit for the
loan
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. Yours faithfully Mushtariy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to organize your writing with one main idea per paragraph and link sentences smoothly. Use a variety of linking words and make sure each new paragraph logically follows from the one before it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your letter has a clear opening and closing. Address the bank formally and sign off with an appropriate phrase, such as 'Yours sincerely' if you know the name of the person, or 'Yours faithfully' if you don't, but you did not use the recipient's name.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, address all key aspects of the task more fully. For example, explain why the amount of money you're requesting is sufficient for your needs, and ideally attach a preliminary business plan or financial forecast.
Task Achievement
While the writing tone is suitable for a formal letter, there are some informal expressions and spelling mistakes that should be corrected. Use formal language and check grammar and spelling carefully.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial forecast
  • cash flow analysis
  • target market
  • startup capital
  • business plan
  • profitability
  • repayment schedule
  • collateral
  • creditworthiness
  • entrepreneurial venture
  • capital expenditure
  • industry analysis
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