You want to start your own small business.Write a letter to ask a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. What kind of business you want to start How much money you need The length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

#business #bank #information #loan #finance #company #money #length #time

Dear Madam I wanted to

startmy

Correct your spelling

start my

own small business.I am writing to ask about obtaining a business

loan

to finance my new company.I am hoping you would finance my company with some document

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

so that I can apply for the

loan

.I have

compeleted

Correct your spelling

completed

gradutain

Correct your spelling

graduation

graduating

from the University of California and my major was marketing.Now I am interested

to start

Change preposition

in starting

show examples

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

clothes shop of my own and need a

loan

to support it. I own the location of the shop and have some prior experience

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working at

large

Add an article

a large

show examples

clothes shop. I can provide 50% of the fund requirement and need another $5000 as a

loan

from your bank. I can repay the

loan

amount with interest within 2 years.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

I need

three

Correct determiner usage

show examples

months

Correct your spelling

three-month

show examples

grace period before I start repaying my monthly instalment. I would really appreciate it if you could send me details of the

loan

monthlyi

Correct your spelling

monthly

instalment amount and so on.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

forward me the documents. I need to fill in and submit for the

loan

. Yours faithfully Mushtariy

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Feb 09 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to organize your writing with one main idea per paragraph and link sentences smoothly. Use a variety of linking words and make sure each new paragraph logically follows from the one before it.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your letter has a clear opening and closing. Address the bank formally and sign off with an appropriate phrase, such as 'Yours sincerely' if you know the name of the person, or 'Yours faithfully' if you don't, but you did not use the recipient's name.

Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, address all key aspects of the task more fully. For example, explain why the amount of money you're requesting is sufficient for your needs, and ideally attach a preliminary business plan or financial forecast.

Task Achievement

While the writing tone is suitable for a formal letter, there are some informal expressions and spelling mistakes that should be corrected. Use formal language and check grammar and spelling carefully.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

173 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial forecast
cash flow analysis
target market
startup capital
business plan
profitability
repayment schedule
collateral
creditworthiness
entrepreneurial venture
capital expenditure
industry analysis

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You want to start your own small business.Write a letter to ask a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. What kind of business you want to start How much money you need The length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

Structure your letter

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?

The provided illustration presents a comparison of the number of male and female participants in the Olympics from 1924 to 2012, as well as the overall number of participants over the same period.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.