IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people have the notion that the best way to keep physically fit
you need
Verb problem
is
show examples
 to join a
gym
Use synonyms
/ fitness club,
whereas
Linking Words
 others prefer to think that daily basis activities like walking up and down stairs
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best option. It is important to admit that both ideas have their merits. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the possible
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 that support each view, and what
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 they bring to their physical fitness. On the one hand, the option to think that the prime way to get fit is to join a
gym
Use synonyms
 or health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has its advantages for many convincing reasons. Most importantly, if we join
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a proper schedule to exercise and our body
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 frank with
pattern
Add an article
the pattern
a pattern
show examples
 we follow on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 daily basis
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
 we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a proper diet plan and exercise scheme. The perfect
example
Use synonyms
 to illustrate
this
Linking Words
 is if we join
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 or well-being
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
genuine guidance
by
Change preposition
from
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 a trainer or a coach.
Use synonyms
Example
Change preposition
For example
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 he provided us
different
Change preposition
with different
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 ways on
particular
Change the article
a particular
show examples
 day which exercise we have to do.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the argument, other people choose to believe day-to-day
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 like
stroll
Wrong verb form
strolling
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 and
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
up
Change preposition
down
show examples
 stairs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enough it has
also
Linking Words
 its upsides for obvious
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if we do
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 types of
actives
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 keep us fit, and they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 much less
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
 than
gym
Use synonyms
 work. A good interoperation for
this
Linking Words
 is we had a tendency to do two works together, our housework and body exercises.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
heels
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 to reduce our house workload. The best
example
Use synonyms
 is our mothers, they always keep fit without
doing
Correct your spelling
going
show examples
gym
Use synonyms
 because they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 their household work. In conclusion, each side serves...
However
Linking Words
, It seems to me that
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 a
gym
Use synonyms
 or a healthiness club is a good idea because its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 outweigh its drawbacks on the whole.

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introduction conclusion
Ensure the introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's direction.
introduction conclusion
Focus on writing a clear, concise introduction and conclusion that encapsulates your main points and opinion.
logical structure
Work on the logical sequence of ideas to strengthen the argument's clarity and improve cohesion and coherence.
logical structure
Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
supported main points
Strengthen the main points with detailed and relevant examples for a more convincing argument.
task completion
Provide a complete response that remains fully focused on the task prompt throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that the essay features clear and comprehensive ideas, avoiding vague statements.
specific examples
Use specific examples to illustrate arguments, making the discussion more relatable and substantiated.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cardiovascular health
  • resistance training
  • physical endurance
  • muscle tone
  • caloric expenditure
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivational factor
  • fitness regimen
  • holistic health
  • sustainable exercise habit
  • metabolic rate
  • physical exertion
  • exercise consistency
  • health maintenance
What to do next:
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