Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of Job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #type #job

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It is true that some people think that

entertainers

such

as film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are paid too much money and that there are other

jobs

that are worthy of being highly paid. In

this

essay, I will discuss my agreements and disagreements about

this

argument. First of all, it is correct that there are other

jobs

that should be highly paid or in the

simpliest

Correct your spelling

simplest

way

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

paid enough. In today's era, most

jobs

are underpaid and their salaries don't even match with how much effort they put into work. But

this

doesn't mean that

entertainers

should not be paid with

such

an amount.

In addition

to that, these

entertainers

don't just get easy money but they

worked

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

hard for it. These people use their creativity in order to come up with entertainment. Just like other people who worked hard, their efforts should be recognised

also

. In general, salaries should be based

according to

Change preposition

show examples

the person's effort and capabilities. In conclusion,

this

argument is discussed with agreements and disagreements about

entertainers

that are highly paid and there are other

jobs

that should be paid more.

Submitted by alma_milly on Fri Feb 09 2024

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task achievement

Clarify your position regarding the statement in both the introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your agreement or disagreement is clear and that you consistently support this throughout the essay.

task achievement

Expand on the reasons behind your viewpoint, providing more detail and developing your argument. This can be achieved by giving specific examples and explaining the consequences or implications of the issue.

coherence and cohesion

Develop a clearer logical structure by organizing your ideas into well-developed paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a specific point supporting your overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Include a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively and enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Provide specific examples to support your points, as this is necessary to achieve a higher score. Consider using case studies or referring to particular situations where entertainers and other professionals have been paid significantly, and analyze why this may or may not be justified.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of Job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?