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Band 2.5

the current layout of University Sports Centre with a plan to redesign it.

#layout #university #sports #centre #plan #redesign
The two pictures compare the current
layout
 of
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 Sports Centre with a plan to redesign it. We can see that the new design proposal involves making a number of changes to the outdoor courts. There are no plans to change the 25m Pool.
Besides
, the whole
layout
 was changed from three separate parts to an
overall
layout
 with no spacing, and there
adds
Wrong verb form
added
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 Leisure and shopping areas. Looking at the information of the west of design, the outdoor courts will be changed to
leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
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 pool. And a new changing room will be
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 it on the southwest corner. There will be a door between
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
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 pool and
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
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 room. About the east of
layout
Correct article usage
the layout
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, there will be added two new dance studios and one sports hall. The
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 hall will take up
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 space on the east side. Another new changing room was installed at the southeast corner. Meanwhile, the north gym area, its square will be expanded twice
much
Rephrase
as much
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 as before. It is just south of the front reception.
Sports
Correct article usage
A sports
show examples
 shop will be installed in the west.
Cafe
Correct article usage
A cafe
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 store will be installed in
east
Add an article
the east
show examples
.
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introduction
Try to introduce the essay with a clearer statement that summarizes the overall changes and the reasons behind them. This will set the stage for your detailed descriptions.
conclusion
End the essay with a conclusion that summarizes the main changes and possibly reflects on their impact on the users of the sports centre.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow by connecting ideas between sentences and paragraphs with appropriate transitional phrases.
logical structure
When transitioning from discussing the west side of the design to the east, make sure to signal the shift to the reader more clearly with phrases like 'Turning to the east side...' or 'Regarding the eastern section...',
supported main points
Ensure that every change mentioned is accompanied by clear information about its location and purpose to improve clarity.
supported main points
Maintain consistency in referencing specific areas of the layout, such as always referring to 'the 25m Pool' in the same way throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to describe changes, such as 'converted', 'replaced', or 'expanded', and avoid repetition of words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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