IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for it own sake, regardless of wheather the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

#people #universities #graduates #skills #workplace #function #university #access #sake #wheather #course #employer
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Public
Correct article usage
The public
show examples
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that
universities
 play a role
to give
Change preposition
in giving
show examples
 graduates
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the knowledge and
skills
 needed in the
workplace
, but others think
that is
 not the main functional
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
show examples
 of
those institution
Change the determiner
that institution
those institutions
show examples
. But I think that
universities
 must provide their alumni with knowledge and
skills
 needed in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 too, because of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 duties of
universities
, and to upgrade the accreditation of the
program
Firstly
,
Universities
 as
intitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 have
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 function to train
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to become ready in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. Each
programs
Change to a singular noun
program
show examples
 in
universities
 provide the
hardskill
Correct your spelling
hard skill
hard skills
 that correlates with their major through lecture session. They
also
 should give opportunities for students to upgrade their additional
skills
such
 as teamwork, communication and collaboration through organization recruitment and volunteer
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
.
In addition
, all
universities
 in my country associate with
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 ministry to join
Merdeka
Correct article usage
the Merdeka
show examples
 Belajar
program
, so that students can involve themselves
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
outbond
Correct your spelling
outbound
 activities,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
show examples
, student exchange and study
independent
Change the word
independently
show examples
 in several companies.
Secondly
, Involving the
skills
workplace
Change preposition
in workplace
show examples
 training in
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 is able to upgrade the accreditation of the
program
. Every
program
 in
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own indicator
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each course. Those
program
Change the determiner
programs
show examples
 have to pass the
assesment
Correct your spelling
assessment
 from
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 ministry.
By teaching
Change preposition
Teaching
show examples
 additional
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 that potentially be useful in the
workplace
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can increase the value and credibility of the
program
, because
this
 is evaluated from
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the capabilities that have been taught in
those
Change the determiner
that program
those programs
show examples
program
.
For instance
,
Mathematics
Correct article usage
the Mathematics
show examples
education
program
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Jember passed the
assesment
Correct your spelling
assessment
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
held by
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 ministry every five years, and it gets
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 score of accreditation because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every course always engage
workplace
 skill in
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lecture session.
To sum up
,
Universities
 as higher
education
 institutions should give graduates with knowledge and
skills
Correct your spelling
that
tthat
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
required in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 because it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 function of the
universities
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to upgrade the
accrediation
Correct your spelling
accreditation
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
You should ensure the introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic and the subsequent paragraphs provide detailed support for your opinion. Each paragraph must focus on a clear main idea, expanding on it with evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on your essay's logical structure to improve the flow between ideas. Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to better connect sentences and paragraphs. Make sure your essay includes a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, with each paragraph having a clear central topic.
What to do next:
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