The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.
THE BAR GRAPH ILLUSTRATES SOME CHANGES
ABOUT
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IN
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THE PERCENTAGE OF
PEOPLE
WERE
Correct pronoun usage
WHO WERE
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BORN IN
AUSTRALIA
AND WHO WERE BORN OUTSIDE
THE
Correct article usage
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AUSTRALIA
LIVING IN URBAN, RURAL, AND
TOWN
Fix the agreement mistake
TOWNS
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FROM 1995 TO 2010.
OVERALL
, IN BOTH
YEARS
, THE NUMBER OF
PEOPLE
WHO BORN IN
AUSTRALIA
AND OUTSIDE
AUSTRALIA
LIVING IN CITIES, TOWNS, AND RURAL AREAS HAD INCREASED BY THE
YEARS
. CITIES ACCOUNTED FOR THE HIGHEST PERCENTAGE
IN
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OF
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BOTH
PEOPLE
BORN IN
AUSTRALIA
AND
PEOPLE
BORN OUTSIDE
AUSTRALIA
. URBAN LIFE
HAD BECOME
Wrong verb form
BECAME
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MORE POPULAR DURING THE 15
YEARS
AND
HAD
Unnecessary verb
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SURGED BY AROUND 15% BETWEEN 1995 AND 2010.
ALTHOUGH
RURAL AREAS
HAD
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ACCOUNTED FOR MORE
10
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THAN 10
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PERCENTAGES
Replace the word
PER CENT
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, BOTH HAD DECLINED TO AROUND 15% AND COMPRISED
FOR
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apply
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THE SAME PERCENTAGES IN 2010. REGARDING
TO
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PEOPLE
BORN OUTSIDE
AUSTRALIA
, CITIES HAD EXHIBITED THEIR MAXIMUM PERCENT
DUE TO
THE CHART;
HOWEVER
, IT HAD INCREASED BY 20%.
NONETHELESS
IT COULD BE SEEN THAT TOWNS HAD
RISED
Correct your spelling
RISEN
BY THE
YEARS
, IT STAYED CONSTANT WITH APPROXIMATELY 10% DURING THE 15
YEARS
. APART FROM OTHERS, THE TOPMOST INCREASE HAD BEEN INDICATED BY RURAL AREAS WHICH ACCOUNTED
AROUND
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FOR AROUND
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35%, FROM 5% TO 40% OVER THE 15
YEARS
.
Submitted by asgerlituran35 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • urbanization
  • migration patterns
  • population distribution
  • percentage points
  • growth rate
  • decline
  • trend analysis
  • socioeconomic factors
  • infrastructure development
  • rural exodus
  • census data
  • lifestyle changes
  • residential patterns
  • immigration policies
  • emigration
  • natural increase
  • birth rate
  • settlement patterns
  • push and pull factors
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