The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.
THE BAR GRAPH ILLUSTRATES SOME CHANGES
ABOUT
THE PERCENTAGE OF Change preposition
IN
PEOPLE
WERE
BORN IN Correct pronoun usage
WHO WERE
AUSTRALIA
AND WHO WERE BORN OUTSIDE THE
Correct article usage
apply
AUSTRALIA
LIVING IN URBAN, RURAL, AND TOWN
FROM 1995 TO 2010.
Fix the agreement mistake
TOWNS
OVERALL
, IN BOTH YEARS
, THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE
WHO BORN IN AUSTRALIA
AND OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA
LIVING IN CITIES, TOWNS, AND RURAL AREAS HAD INCREASED BY THE YEARS
. CITIES ACCOUNTED FOR THE HIGHEST PERCENTAGE IN
BOTH Change preposition
OF
PEOPLE
BORN IN AUSTRALIA
AND PEOPLE
BORN OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA
.
URBAN LIFE HAD BECOME
MORE POPULAR DURING THE 15 Wrong verb form
BECAME
YEARS
AND HAD
SURGED BY AROUND 15% BETWEEN 1995 AND 2010. Unnecessary verb
apply
ALTHOUGH
RURAL AREAS HAD
ACCOUNTED FOR MORE Unnecessary verb
apply
10
Change preposition
THAN 10
PERCENTAGES
, BOTH HAD DECLINED TO AROUND 15% AND COMPRISED Replace the word
PER CENT
FOR
THE SAME PERCENTAGES IN 2010.
REGARDING Change preposition
apply
TO
Remove the preposition
apply
PEOPLE
BORN OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA
, CITIES HAD EXHIBITED THEIR MAXIMUM PERCENT DUE TO
THE CHART; HOWEVER
, IT HAD INCREASED BY 20%. NONETHELESS
IT COULD BE SEEN THAT TOWNS HAD RISED
BY THE Correct your spelling
RISEN
YEARS
, IT STAYED CONSTANT WITH APPROXIMATELY 10% DURING THE 15 YEARS
. APART FROM OTHERS, THE TOPMOST INCREASE HAD BEEN INDICATED BY RURAL AREAS WHICH ACCOUNTED AROUND
35%, FROM 5% TO 40% OVER THE 15 Change preposition
FOR AROUND
YEARS
.Submitted by asgerlituran35 on
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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