IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter: Describe the reason for quitting the previous job Show your excitement for a new job and other details Say about salary package

#job #friend #reason #show #excitement #salary #package
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Dear Jessica How is it going? I feel so
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
show examples
due to
 my new
job
. My
job
 is extremely pleasant. I am so satisfied joined a new
job
.
Cause
Correct your spelling
Because
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 my old
job
 was horrible and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was terrified of my boss. He was
remarkably
Add an article
a remarkably
the remarkably
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 stubborn and bossy man,
also
 he was paying low wages
on
Change preposition
for
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a months
Correct the article-noun agreement
a month
months
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.
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
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 I decided to go. One day my neighbour invited her b-day and the party
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a
big
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
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 people.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 I saw one handsome and seriously rich man who wore a
suite
Correct your spelling
suit
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 and tie.
Then
 I introduced
with
Change preposition
to
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 him. He invited
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
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 his work.
In
addition
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addition,
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 I went
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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there and now I am working
for
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as
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secretary
Add an article
the secretary
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 of
boss
Add an article
the boss
a boss
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. To my mind, he
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 in love with me
however
 I have no idea. My new
job
 is so fascinating
job
 for me. Cause well-paid and
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
lot of friendly people around
of
Change preposition
apply
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me. I am so luckiest girl in the world. I hope you send me
message
Add an article
a message
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 when you read my letter. I will wait for you. Yours sincerely, Bayramoy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that your letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Break down your content into organized paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. Connect your ideas seamlessly for better coherence using linking words and maintaining logical order.
task achievement
Work on using a suitable tone for an informal letter. Employ phrases and expressions that are commonly used in informal writing. Avoid too formal or overly casual language; find a comfortable, friendly middle ground.
task achievement
Pay attention to the specific bullet points in the task. Each should be addressed in a separate paragraph to ensure task achievement. Make sure your reasons for leaving an old job are clear, show explicit excitement for your new job with relevant details, and mention your salary package appropriately.
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