In many developing nation, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

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Industrialisation has become more and more popular in many

countries

Use synonyms

. In fact, numerous developing nations rush themselves to become industrialised, which leads to massive problems with air and

water

Use synonyms

quality. In

this

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essay, I will explain the drawbacks that

this

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has brought about and put forward some solutions to them.

Industrial

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The industrial

show examples

sector in developing

countries

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has been recognised as one of the major pollutant sources.

This

Linking Words

sector has harmed and brought hazardous stuff

Change preposition

into

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our environment, especially when it comes to air and

water

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For example

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, a charcoal factory in Banten produces a

big

Correct word choice

large

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amount of smoke, which can travel to Jakarta, turning Jakarta's sky grey.

Furthermore

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, the wasted

water

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from the factory is thrown into the river, disrupting the lives of many

water

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creatures.

In other words

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, in poor nations, pollution is mainly caused by the waste produced by firms.

However

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, there are always measures which can combat those problems.

First,

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the government can set policies that manage industrial establishment.

For instance

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government

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the government

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should limit the number of factory buildings within a certain area.

This

Linking Words

is because, in some cases, a large number of corporations are located in a populated area.

Second,

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companies should make rules for waste management. In fact, there are technologies that can be used to recycle liquid disposal, which are very useful and environmentally friendly. With these actions being taken, those developing

countries

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are striving towards a better ecosystem.

To sum up

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, industrialisation is dreamt

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of by

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many developing

countries

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. As everything comes with a price, there are setbacks which are brought

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about by

show examples

this

Linking Words

movement.

Nevertheless

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, setting policies and rules should tackle those possible issues.

Therefore

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, I suggest that

countries

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should understand the risks and design a roadmap before taking action like industrial advancement.

narawriteshare9Sat Feb 10 2024

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Task Response

To improve in the area of task response, it would be beneficial to ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on each problem and solution by providing more detailed explanations and examples, ensuring that they are specifically tailored to the issue of industrialization in developing nations.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, strive to connect your ideas more fluently throughout the essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance logical progression, ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

accelerated
deteriorated
respiratory diseases
untreated industrial waste
aquatic life
biodiversity
habitat destruction
ecosystems
extinction
urbanization
overcrowding
stricter environmental regulations
sustainable
green technologies
renewable energy sources
fossil fuels
waste management
contamination
vehicular pollution
conservation

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In many developing nation, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

Your opinion

It has been said that reading for pleasure is better in developing imagination and language skills than watching T.V. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Some people think that the governments should increase the cost of fuels for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?