Some said teachers’ main role is to transmit the information. Nowadays students are exposed to many kinds of information, so the role of the teacher will not work in modern education. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Whilst some people believe that the teacher's role is becoming
irrelvant
in the modern world of educational opportunities, I strongly support the idea that their profession cannot be replaced by technology. Correct your spelling
irrelevant
This
essay will discuss that the tutors'
role is much more than only providing students with information.
Change noun form
tutor's
Although
any school subject can be studied on line
nowadays, even a pre-recorded course usually will include some kind of assignment with Correct your spelling
online
a
feedback from the author. Since a teacher is Remove the article
apply
also
a coach, who motivates pupils and explains difficult moments in person, their involvement remains of a high value. For example
, schoolkids
who have been learning remotely during the pandemic timesCorrect your spelling
school kids
,
showed worse results Remove the comma
apply
comapared
to peers who attended the classes in person.
Correct your spelling
compared
On the other hand
, web platforms, for
instance
Udemy, provide Add the comma(s)
instance,
with
a very convenient way of getting new knowledge. Change preposition
apply
This
allows people who are self-deducted to easily get the required skills without a
need Correct article usage
the
of going
outside. Change preposition
to go
In addition
, they can access the informational resourses
globally, which adds to Correct your spelling
resources
quality
of education. Add an article
the quality
However
, teenagers are rearly
self-motivated to study, Correct your spelling
really
rarely
therefore
they would
need support from a tutor, who leads them throughout the process.
Verb problem
apply
To conclude
, the
technology is changing Correct article usage
apply
the
traditional education as Correct article usage
apply
many
other spheres of our Change preposition
in many
lifes
. Correct your spelling
lives
However
teachers are important adults for our children, who not only provide the information, but Add a comma
However,
also
support them, explain them human values and fulfil the need for personal communication.Submitted by yulia.gottfried on
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Language Proficiency
Maintain consistency in verb tense throughout the essay. Use either past or present tense depending on the context and stick to it consistently to avoid confusion.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While you've mentioned the impact of the pandemic on students and online platforms like Udemy, elaborating on these points with concrete examples would strengthen your argument.
Grammar Accuracy
Ensure proper subject-verb agreement by carefully proofreading your work. For example, 'teenagers are rearly (rarely) self-motivated...' should be corrected for both the misspelling of 'rarely' and ensuring agreement.
Language Proficiency
Consider enhancing the range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to showcase language proficiency more effectively. Employ a variety of transitions and synonyms to avoid repetitiveness.
Grammar Accuracy
Be careful with spelling and minor errors that can distract from the overall quality of the writing, such as 'lifes' should be 'lives'. Always proofread before finalizing your essay.
Task Achievement
Expand on the conclusion to offer a more decisive viewpoint while summarizing the main arguments presented in the essay. This will create a stronger, more memorable final impression.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to create better cohesion between ideas and paragraphs. While the logical structure is good, smoother transitions would enhance readability.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.