In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods . This is having a negative effects on both families and societies . To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #foods #effects #families #societies

Nowadays, the increased popularity of international fast

foods

has shifted

authentic

Change preposition

to authentic

show examples

foods

in some countries.

Hence

, either households or societies are being impacted by adverse effects. I absolutely agree with

this

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

statement and the reasons behind my

thought

Fix the agreement mistake

thoughts

show examples

will be discussed in

this

essay. First and foremost, many households are affected

to consume

Change preposition

by consuming

show examples

fast

food

, potentially experiencing health problems. Junk

foods

have more fat, sugar, and salt than are generally recommended in

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

diet. A study from Alfa Laboratorium shows that

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

meals are one of the biggest

caused

Replace the word

causes

show examples

of harmful diseases,

such

as obesity, diabetes, and cancer. In fact, many families give their children burgers, pizza, or fried chicken

instead

of traditional

foods

, which contain more nutrition and less processing.

That is

why the influx of global instant feeding in a country is quite dangerous.

Moreover

, society will experience

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

losing their own local

food

business

because

Add the preposition

because of

show examples

the expansion of global franchises.

The local

Correct article usage

Local

show examples

foods

will lose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

popularity and many people who sell local

foods

will go out of business,

consequently

, young generations do not have a chance to try their native country

foods

. With the progress of time, there is no one from denizens can introduce their traditional meals to the world and the state will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not have an iconic identity.

Hence

, colonialism from international

food

should be decreased. In conclusion, Globalisation can make international junk

foods

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

seize the existence of traditional

food

and present negative impacts on families and citizens,

such

as health and business problems.

Submitted by helainhye2 on Sun Feb 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and cohesion

Include a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve the structural flow of your essay. This helps in logically sequencing ideas and ensuring clarity.

Coherence and cohesion

Enhance the introduction with a clearer thesis statement that outlines your argument and the main points you plan to discuss. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.

Task achievement

Support your main points with more diversified and concrete examples. Consider including statistics, research findings, or case studies to strengthen your argument.

Task achievement

Work on a more balanced development of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed and the main points are clearly articulated and expanded upon.

Coherence and cohesion

While your conclusion summarises your main points, try to restate your thesis in a more impactful way that truly highlights the significance of the topic and your stance on it.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cultural identity
heritage
culinary practices
prevalent
obesity
diabetes
diet-related health issues
economic challenges
street food vendors
family dynamics
on-the-go
environmental degradation
sustainable
eco-friendly
homogenization
foodscapes
agricultural diversity
biodiversity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In the past few decades, brain drain has become a national topic around the world.Mostly, this issue prominent in the developing countries, where experts leave to post-industrial country for better opportunities. This essay will argue both statements and offer opposite view in the following paragraphs.
6
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.
In the modern area, there is an undeniable role of having activities with family in daily life along with gaining knowledge from reading for children's development. This writer agrees that creativity and problem-solving skills can be earned from ordinary activities with family rather than reading books without practice. The first reason can be noticed is that problem-solving skills can also be obtained from ordinary activities. A kid's mindset will prefer taking risks with challenging situations or logical-thinking demanding. As long as the children participate in enjoyable, they will realize how to solve the problem most efficiently. This will contribute to children's success in the future. Another was for children's creativity if a child spends plenty of time reading books can make the individual become a bookworm and difficult to make friends, instead, kids with high enthusiasm for practical events can enhance their creativity by using their knowledge from books or other sources ...
6
band
Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Shopping online offers several advantages, but whether they outweigh the disadvantages depends on individual preferences. One advantage is the convenience of shopping from anywhere at any time, without the need to travel to physical stores. This can save time and effort, especially for those with busy schedules. Online retailers often offer a wider variety of products compared to brick-and-mortar stores, allowing customers to find specific items more easily. Additionally, online shopping enables price comparison across different retailers, helping consumers find the best deals and potentially saving money.
6
band
Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?
Currently, many individuals opt to run their own businesses instead of working for a particular organization. From my point of view, this viewpoint may be a negative trend, which provides some drawbacks.
4.5
band
In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you thimk this is a positive or negative situation?
In comtemporary society, accomodation plays a vital role. In some states, peopel believe acquesting a own property is essential rather tahn living in a rented place. I strangly agreed with the given statement. This esay would discuss what are the advantages and disadvantages of owing and renting houses and why owning is superior.

In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods . This is having a negative effects on both families and societies . To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you thimk this is a positive or negative situation?