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Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #fund #music #dance #arts #lessons #children #businesses #families
A few masses assume that the authorities should fund music,
art
 and dance lessons for toddlers.
Whereas
, others think that it should be sponsored by some private enterprises or by children's families.
This
 essay shall discuss both viewpoints in the ensuing paragraphs.
However
, I opine towards the former statement. To commence with, in favour of my opinion, Government funding encourages cultural development and ensures equal access to arts which proportionally help to build the socio-economic value of the nation.
Besides
, state-sponsored programs help teenagers promote national identity and heritage through the preservation and promotion of traditional music, dance and arts.
Moreover
, Ministry funding of
art
 is a reflection of a society that values cultural enrichment and creative expression as a part of a balanced education.
For instance
, India is the 2nd largest country in promoting
art
 by authority with the value of ethics and culture.
On the other hand
, Private funds encourage more specialised and diverse offerings which reflects market demand to support all types of
art
.
Furthermore
, Family funding may not encourage the children to pursue their goals as not all communities are capable socio-economically which restricts growth as only wealthy families can approach it more. In conclusion,
although
 both views have their own perspective, I would like to support the government funding strategy as it allows equal opportunities and a sense of achievement for every child.
Submitted by joshiami7570 on

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task response
In terms of task response, you should aim to develop your main points further by providing more specific examples and explanations. Doing so will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive. Make sure also to directly address the prompt in your introduction and conclusion to ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on improving the logical structure of your essay by organizing ideas and paragraphs in a clear, linear progression. Connect your ideas more effectively with a range of cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures for greater clarity. Make sure your paragraphs are well-developed with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural development
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • state-sponsored
  • national identity
  • heritage
  • preservation
  • cultural enrichment
  • creative expression
  • balanced education
  • specialized offerings
  • market demand
  • innovation
  • personal investment
  • commitment
  • learning experience
  • unequal access
  • hybrid approach
  • vibrant
  • equitable
  • arts ecosystem
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