Some people think that governments should pay for people’s education and health care, while others believe that it is not governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It seems that with the passing of time, some
education
and
health
issues have become unsolvable in most countries,
furthermore
, some people argue that
education
and
health
should be free and provided by the authorities.
This
essay will be explained
further
in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, when providing free
education
also
medical products for all general citizens,
however
, will grow
this
country
and become more
culture
Replace the word
culturally
show examples
and
civilize
Wrong verb form
civilised
show examples
.
For instance
, my
country
is one of the best countries that provides free
education
from the first year to the
last
year,
nevertheless
, the student has a choice of either studying free or for fess outside the
country
, but, it makes a top student under the government's responsibility.
On the other hand
, when providing free medical treatments for everyone,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be important for the
health
of the sick
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
,
overall
, in my opinion, I
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tend to agree with the
education
and
health
government's responsibilities by 90% per cent,
likewise
, with a citizen by 10 % per cent and I will first provide some ideas why and
then
look at same benefits.
Additionally
, great countries grow when they support their citizens wholeheartedly. In conclusion, I believe that important to support from higher authorities for citizens.
Furthermore
, when it is the responsibility of the individual,
this
will affect the development of the
country
because some do not have a good ability to achieve
education
and bring medicines.
Likewise
, blindness, disease, poverty,and
homeless
Replace the word
homelessness
show examples
will spread.
Submitted by sesjej1330 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion to give the reader a clear overview of what to expect in the essay.
Task Achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas that are directly related to the question. Avoid general statements and focus on providing specific examples and explanations that directly support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Structure your paragraphs logically, ensuring each one has a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. This will help improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will help improve the cohesion of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
In the conclusion, succinctly summarize the main arguments discussed and reiterate your own opinion. Make sure it is consistent with what has been previously mentioned in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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