The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.
The map illustrates the layout of the educational institute in the year 2004 and it is projected to have some changes in the schooling sites in 2024.
overall
, it can be observed that the most remarkable proposed feature of the academy is the addition of the
school
and a
car
park
.
However
, the general structure and main entrance will remain the same.
To begin
with, in 2004,
School
building
Capitalize word
Building
show examples
1 and
School
building
Capitalize word
Building
show examples
2 were opposite each other , separated by the path.
However
, by 2024, it will be linked with a path, and
this
path will be shrunk as well. Sports field be replaced by an introduction of a
school
building 3.
Moreover
,
car
park
2 will be opened up
to
Correct word choice
adjacent to
show examples
adjacentthe
Verb problem
apply
show examples
school
building 3 in the Northeast direction.
Furthermore
, a
curve
Replace the word
curved
show examples
road will be constructed from the entrance , and join to the
car
park
2 .The sports field will be redeveloped across the road in the south of the
school
building 3.More trees will be planted in the Northeast, near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
car
park
2.
Submitted by sarfaraz.zain619 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, car, park with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: