Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should prohibit
ban
Verb problem
apply
show examples
risky
sports
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
idea because
people
Use synonyms
can
expess
Correct your spelling
express
their emotions
also
Linking Words
it can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their health.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should ban dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
because some
sports
Use synonyms
are harmful to a person's life. Sometimes
people
Use synonyms
will die
after
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
dangerous spots. Doing unsafe
sports
Use synonyms
you can have
physically
Change the adverb
physical
show examples
problems like breaking your leg or arms.
For example
Linking Words
, claiming to high
mountain
Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
show examples
also
Linking Words
riding motorcycles in high places. Another reason doing hazardous
sports
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
Use synonyms
let off their steam
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
is that
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
relaxed
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
claiming high mountains.
For example
Linking Words
,
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a type of person
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
and sometimes
this
Linking Words
person
wanted
Add the particle
wanted to
show examples
express their bad feelings and emotions to the outside, that’s why they are doing dangerous activities to get rid of bad emotions.
However
Linking Words
, in most
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
it is dangerous for
people
Use synonyms
to engage in extreme
sports
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, hazardous
sports
Use synonyms
damaging
Add a missing verb
are damaging
show examples
to a human’s life, and it’s
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
way for
people
Use synonyms
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
rid of their lousy
problematic
Replace the word
problems
show examples
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to introduce both sides of the argument clearly in your introduction, followed by a thesis statement indicating your personal stance.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and distinct paragraphs for each main point. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that explains the main idea you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support each argument you make. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
End your essay with a conclusion that summarises both views and restates your opinion. This will provide a clear closure to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure logical and smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in maintaining the flow of your essay and making it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and work on improving your sentence structure. This will enhance the overall readability of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health and safety
  • public resources
  • urgent medical treatment
  • guardians of public safety
  • undue harm
  • personal expression
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • employment opportunities
  • discipline
  • courage
  • resilience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: