IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a museum's manager after visting the museum. Give some advice for improvement as you had a mixed experience.

#museum #manager #advice #improvement
Dear Manager, I am writing
this
 letter to share my mixed experience with you after visiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
London's history
museum
.
Last
 week, I decided to visit
this
 great
museum
 with my few close friends. As the website of your
museum
 has mentioned
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
 is allowed after 9am,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 arrived
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the ticket counter around 10:00 am.
However
, the
gate keeper
Correct your spelling
gatekeeper
show examples
 did not allow the entrance till 11 am.
Moreover
, the customer service was not satisfactory in the
museum
, as there was no tourist guide available for the local community. In my opinion, the opening and closing
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of the
museum
 should be
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 on both
website
Correct article usage
the website
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the enterance
show examples
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
 gate of the
place
,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 it will harm the reputation of your
place
.
Although
, no guide was available for the locals in the area,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the details encrypted on the historic relics were more than enough to understand the
historic
Correct word choice
historical
show examples
 background.
In addition
, we were
pleasently
Correct your spelling
pleasantly
 surprised by the cleanliness of the region.
Nevertheless
, I want to give some advice for the improvement of the
museum
. As
this
place
hold
Correct subject-verb agreement
holds
show examples
 great historical significance, you should improve the security measures for
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
 of the
place
. I hope you will consider my advice for the betterment of the
museum
. Thanks. Regards, Saba
Submitted by sb101tahirgul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure consistent use of tense throughout the letter to maintain clarity.
Task Achievement
Develop your suggestions further with specific examples or ideas to enhance your response.
General Advice
Check for spelling and punctuation errors to improve the overall readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider adding a concluding paragraph to neatly wrap up your letter and reinforce your suggestions.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: