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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below show the number of university graduates in canada from 1992 to 2007.

The graph below show the number of university graduates in canada from 1992 to 2007.
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The line chart depicts the quality of graduates in Canada
Since
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1992 until 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graduates from female in the first period and
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up in the
last
Linking Words
 period,
while
Linking Words
males
Fix the agreement mistake
male
show examples
graduations in
Correct your spelling
graduated
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
below
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women even though
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1992 until 1995 females
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 little
increase
Use synonyms
 from 100,000 to 105,000
graduation
Fix the agreement mistake
graduations
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1996 to 2000 back to the first period at 100,000. The
females
Change to a genitive case
female's
females'
show examples
 graduation
continues
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to
increase
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
position in 2006 with the
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
graduates almost 150,000. Meanwhile, the graduation of females in Canada
experience
Replace the word
experienced
show examples
 fluctuation,
70,000
Change preposition
with 70,000
show examples
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
that graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 country,
slightly
Correct pronoun usage
which slightly
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 1995
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 75,000. Drop until 2003, and speedy
increase
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 moment at 95,000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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