IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people today expect to get what they want instantly (goods, services, news), without having wait. Why is this? Do you think expectation is a positive or negative development?

#people #goods #services #news #expectation #development
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according
Add the preposition
to
show examples
this
 era, many individuals achieve their needs
such
 as goods, services, and news in instant ways. In my point of view, it depends on the situation and condition. Sometimes it is a good choice to get a big chance when the deadline distracts you,
however
, it is a worse habit which can affect your personality. As a deadline, it becomes a mouse road when all of the items can
get
Verb problem
be done
show examples
 without having to wait. There is a massive perception which is very beneficial to them. As we know we live in the digital era, where technology and information have developed significantly. Most individuals especially students try to do their tasks in a simple way. They tried to use websites in their gadget to catch any kind of information and copied to their work.
Moreover
, pupils believed that all of the information that they got was valid without checking any details.
For instance
, when children read the online platform about FIFA World Cup 2022
was
Replace the word
being
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canceled
Change the spelling
cancelled
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 in Indonesia because of the government.
Besides
, there are a lot of reasons why that event
were
Change the verb form
was
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 cancelled.
On the other hand
, preserving
this
 habit is a big deal. Citizens should open their minds and try to be more disciplined with the rules. Some types of their personalities have been seen when they try to do their activity consistently.
However
, when they have a worse habit than people judging you badly it is normal.
For example
, some people go to the supermarket and try to overtake the queue at the cashier.
In addition
, it trains you to become a loser because champions are strong achievers that always patient to face obstacles on every side.
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task achievement
Focus on clearly stating your opinion and ensure that each paragraph supports your viewpoint. The introduction should clearly present your stance on the topic, and your conclusion should summarize your main points concisely.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices (e.g., however, moreover) more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. Ensure these examples are directly relevant to the question and clearly illustrate your argument. This will make your essay more compelling and persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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