families have more people in the past because they have more children. Do you think there are more advantages than disadvantages to being in a large family in the past

The
number
of
children
in
families
has been decreasing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years.
Although
this
pattern results in a sense of
lonelines
Correct your spelling
loneliness
, especially if a person does not have any siblings, I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of
this
phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks, as it provides
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids better alternatives in their education,
along with
building deeper relationships with their
parents
. One of the reasons why being a member of a small family is better is that it enables to reduce the total expenditures of
families
. To illustrate, if the
number
of
children
increase
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increases
show examples
, their shareholds will decrease. The incomes of
families
come from
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
salaries, but their outcomes are affected by the
number
of
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. It is easily stated that as
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
of youngsters
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
, the amount of money they are able to spend
decrease
Fix the agreement mistake
decreases
show examples
.
Therefore
, they may face difficulties in finding appropriate universities respective
of
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to
show examples
their
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
.
For instance
,
families
, which have one child are able to afford expenses related to the education of their kids, and they provide better options for their
children
, including overseas universities.
However
, as long as there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more than one kid,
then
parents
need to divide their savings equally,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
they can not send their kids to some well-known colleges owing to the high prices.
On the other hand
, spending enough
time
with
parents
is paramount to
raisinig
Correct your spelling
raising
well-rounded teenagers. Considering the gruelling business life of
parents
, creating
time
for sharing with their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
has been becoming increasingly challenging. At that point, it is totally understandable if they have more
children
, they are likely to spend less
time
with each of them.
This
process may result in a sense of loneliness when it comes to
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
, and they may suffer from anxiety, or depression in the long term.
For instance
, 3 out of 5 adults in Turkey, who belong
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
large family, are likely to fall into depression at some point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life
according to
the article, which was published in Istanbul University in 2021.
To conclude
, despite the fact that belonging
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
large family may bring some merits, I believe that drawbacks are more than positive sides. Since being a member of small
families
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
educational life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and more
time
to share
parents
Change preposition
with parents
show examples
,
this
pattern should be embraced by more
families
.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in your argument. Although your essay mostly maintains a clear perspective, some parts, especially in the advantages and disadvantages comparison, need clearer demarcation. Explicitly stating advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, connect your ideas more smoothly with varied transition words. You've used some, but more diverse transitions would enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly in your introduction by clearly stating whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of being in a large family in the past. Your introduction is a bit general, and a direct thesis statement would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety to avoid repetition and engage your readers better. Mixing complex and simple sentences can make your text more interesting.
task achievement
Although your examples are relevant, try to provide more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This can make your points more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • agrarian
  • sustenance
  • communal bonds
  • emotional and practical support
  • child mortality rates
  • social security
  • financial burdens
  • economic strain
  • overpopulation
  • environmental degradation
  • inheritance
  • family business
  • internal family conflicts
What to do next:
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