families have more people in the past because they have more children. Do you think there are more advantages than disadvantages to being in a large family in the past

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The
number
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of
children
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in
families
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has been decreasing in
the
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apply
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recent years.
Although
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this
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pattern results in a sense of
lonelines
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loneliness
, especially if a person does not have any siblings, I believe that
advantages
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the advantages
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of
this
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phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks, as it provides
to
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apply
show examples
kids better alternatives in their education,
along with
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building deeper relationships with their
parents
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. One of the reasons why being a member of a small family is better is that it enables to reduce the total expenditures of
families
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. To illustrate, if the
number
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of
children
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increase
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increases
show examples
, their shareholds will decrease. The incomes of
families
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come from
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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salaries, but their outcomes are affected by the
number
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of
offsprings
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offspring
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. It is easily stated that as
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number
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the number
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of youngsters
increase
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increases
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, the amount of money they are able to spend
decrease
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decreases
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.
Therefore
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, they may face difficulties in finding appropriate universities respective
of
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to
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their
fundings
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funding
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.
For instance
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,
families
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, which have one child are able to afford expenses related to the education of their kids, and they provide better options for their
children
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, including overseas universities.
However
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, as long as there
are
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is
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more than one kid,
then
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parents
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need to divide their savings equally,
as a
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result
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result,
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they can not send their kids to some well-known colleges owing to the high prices.
On the other hand
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, spending enough
time
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with
parents
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is paramount to
raisinig
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raising
well-rounded teenagers. Considering the gruelling business life of
parents
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, creating
time
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for sharing with their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
has been becoming increasingly challenging. At that point, it is totally understandable if they have more
children
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, they are likely to spend less
time
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with each of them.
This
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process may result in a sense of loneliness when it comes to
childs
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children
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, and they may suffer from anxiety, or depression in the long term.
For instance
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, 3 out of 5 adults in Turkey, who belong
a
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to a
show examples
large family, are likely to fall into depression at some point
of
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in
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their life
according to
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the article, which was published in Istanbul University in 2021.
To conclude
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, despite the fact that belonging
a
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to a
show examples
large family may bring some merits, I believe that drawbacks are more than positive sides. Since being a member of small
families
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provide
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provides
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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educational life
,
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apply
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and more
time
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to share
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parents
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with parents
show examples
,
this
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pattern should be embraced by more
families
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.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in your argument. Although your essay mostly maintains a clear perspective, some parts, especially in the advantages and disadvantages comparison, need clearer demarcation. Explicitly stating advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, connect your ideas more smoothly with varied transition words. You've used some, but more diverse transitions would enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly in your introduction by clearly stating whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of being in a large family in the past. Your introduction is a bit general, and a direct thesis statement would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety to avoid repetition and engage your readers better. Mixing complex and simple sentences can make your text more interesting.
task achievement
Although your examples are relevant, try to provide more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This can make your points more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • agrarian
  • sustenance
  • communal bonds
  • emotional and practical support
  • child mortality rates
  • social security
  • financial burdens
  • economic strain
  • overpopulation
  • environmental degradation
  • inheritance
  • family business
  • internal family conflicts
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