The table below shows the numbers of people in each age group working in certain sectors in the UK in 1998 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of people in each age group working in certain sectors in the UK in 1998 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table gives information about how many individuals in different age profiles, worked in which sectors in the United Kingdom in the years 1998 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, what stands out from the table is that for all given types of work, as the people got older, the number of those who worked decreased, except for education.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
building
Correct article usage
the building

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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department had the highest amount of workers in 1998,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

technology took its place as
populest
Correct word choice
the most popular

There may be an adjective issue here.

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sector in 2006. Looking at the details, youngsters who prefer to work in
building
Correct article usage
the building

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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part are more than any others with 112,565 in 1998, but the figure levelled off at 5,400 for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are aged between 56 to 65.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is noticeable that in the year 2006, technology is more attractive for young
persons
Replace the word
people

The word persons doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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with
having
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb having appears to be unnecessary here.

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187,600
emoloyees
Correct your spelling
employees

If you don’t want emoloyees to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. With respect to hotel
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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catering and education, the amount of workers in these sections
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was

It seems that the verb were does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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25,764 and 6,388, in 1998 and 18,998 and 4,987, in 2006, respectively.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce distribution
  • significant
  • sector
  • trend
  • increase/decrease
  • composition
  • employment patterns
  • shift
  • notable
  • preference
  • age group
  • contrast
  • analyze
  • composition
  • reaffirm
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