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Band 4.5

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything orgainsed and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #home #workplace #place #answers
A well-organized house, which is clean and fresh is always welcoming and creates a pleasant impression,
therefore
 many people put
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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in
Change preposition
into
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 maintaining
the
Correct article usage
a
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 tidy living and working environment. The same works for me, and I pay a lot of attention to keeping my home nice and convenient. One of the main reasons to store all items in
logical
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a logical
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 and structured way
,
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apply
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 is
having
Change the verb form
to have
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 them easily accessed when needed.
In addition
, periodic decluttering allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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 free up space and avoid things getting messed up.
For instance
, when kitchen gadgets are stored on the dedicated shelves in the cabinet, the counter can be used much more efficiently. Another example
,
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apply
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 is making sure that the office desc if paper-free
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the day,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
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 start the next day morning with new tasks and ideas.
This
also
 makes dusting easy, which is important for hygiene. On the other side, sometimes having a light mess at home is healthy, especially when there are kids present.
To
Change preposition
In
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 my eyes, obsession with organizing stuff and washing floors
everyday
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every day
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 is highly stressful. Since children explore the world, throw things around, spill drinks and, it is common that a living area would not look like
museum
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a museum
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,
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
, when tired parents prefer to relax
instead
 of washing the dishes.
To conclude
, having an organized living and working area creates
comfortable
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a comfortable
the comfortable
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 and nice-looking environment.
However
, a
balanced
Replace the word
balance
show examples
 should be found between keeping the space tidy and cleaning up around the clock.
Submitted by yulia.gottfried on

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Structure
Ensure a clear distinction between introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The essay should start with a clear statement of your opinion, followed by paragraphs that support your opinion with specific reasons and examples, and conclude with a summary of your argument.
Paragraph Development
Work on paragraph development. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Present your idea, explain it, and then offer an example or further explanation. This adds depth to your argument.
Linking Words
Focus on a range of linking words to enhance coherence. While your essay demonstrates good use of some connectors, varying these further can improve the flow of ideas.
Language Use
More complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary could improve the essay's readability and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Addressing the Prompt
Review the prompt often to ensure a complete response to all its aspects. While your essay addresses the given prompt, make sure every paragraph contributes directly to your overall argument related to the importance of tidiness in living and working spaces.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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