Many people claiming that hopping from one workplace to another is more beneficial than staying in one job for a very long time . Do you agree or disagree ?

In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
area, There are many new
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
open
ij develping
Correct your spelling
in developing
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
and
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. Few
people
believe that
work
chenging
Correct your spelling
changing
is good for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and other human believe that
saying
Correct your spelling
staying
show examples
in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
job
for a long
time
is good for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss some pros and cons in below paragraph.
One
of the
burining
Correct your spelling
burning
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
of
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world, There are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their worker
Fix the infinitive
to chenge
show examples
chenge
Correct your spelling
change
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
saying
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
for
one
job
is not good. They
allves
Correct your spelling
lives
imporove
Correct your spelling
improve
their skill and knowledge. That reason
people
find new
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in their city or other country. As a reason, There are many
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
that their
office
behavier
Correct your spelling
behaviour
and
office
work
style. Some
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
chenge
Correct your spelling
change
their
job
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
apined
Correct your spelling
pained
.
As a result
,
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
human
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
their
office
and
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
behavier
Correct your spelling
behaviour
like some
office
emplyer
Correct your spelling
employees
talking very bed and demotivated for their worker. That issue their
chenge
Correct your spelling
change
the
work
for
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
time
. On the other side of
coin
Add an article
the coin
show examples
, There are many
benifites
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
a long
time
for
one
job
. like Their
pramotion
Correct your spelling
promotion
promotions
, good
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
aword
Correct your spelling
award
a word
, and many
fesilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
to
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
some
office
, Some society think that long
time
work
id good for their and they
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
their skill in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
work
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
there are many
office
organized events
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
their workers.For
exlain
Correct your spelling
example
, Many
office
Change to a plural noun
offices
show examples
organized cricket events. Best
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
and some
pricess
Correct your spelling
prices
process
for their employer and employees.
Hence
, Few
office
help their workers and many
sociel
Correct your spelling
social
work
Replace the word
workers
show examples
, theydonets their money
schools
Change preposition
from schools
show examples
and poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Always
thay
Correct your spelling
they
helping their employer and
office
workers.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
consluion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, Few
people
and society believe that
job
chengeing
Correct your spelling
changing
is good for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
but they do not
notised
Correct your spelling
notice
noticed
their C.V. But
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
side some
people
believe that
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
job
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and range. There are numerous grammatical errors which make it difficult to fully understand your points. Consider revising sentence structures for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring paragraphs are well-structured and each idea smoothly transitions into the next. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas.
Task Achievement
Develop each point with specific examples or evidence. This adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Task Response
Ensure your essay strictly adheres to the topic. Avoid straying into unrelated areas and make sure your arguments directly address the question asked.
Vocabulary
Expand your vocabulary to express ideas more effectively and precisely. This will enrich your essay and demonstrate a wider linguistic range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: