A friends of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday Describe some possible disadvantages

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Dear Jessica, What's up
dear
Add the comma(s)
, dear
show examples
? How about your
holiday
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Um... my
holiday
was so engaging and memorable for me. Recently, I off to the
camp
with my sister. The
camp
was so gigantic and interesting.
However
, The
Camp
has some disadvantages.
Ok
Correct your spelling
OK
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, My dear,
firstly
you will take
useful
Correct article usage
the useful
show examples
things that you need.
Secondly
, If you have the opportunity to go
camp
Wrong verb form
camping
show examples
and please, you better choose
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
one
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that you enjoy.
Moreover
, outdoor activities and indoor activities are so extremely vital. Cuz, You will chillax from lively activities and who has an outgoing personality people. It helps you to be more sociable and self-reliant.
Secondly
, when you want to sleep outside and you have no idea. There
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
a vast amount of insects.
For example
, mosquitos. Watch out
Change preposition
for
show examples
them! To my mind, you will excellent in a camping
holiday
and safe summer camping. I look forward to hearing about your
holiday
when you get back. Best wishes, Bayramoy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task directly and clearly. The letter should first explain why camping will be enjoyable and then describe the disadvantages in a structured manner. Try to avoid vague expressions and focus on giving specific advice and detailed explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better score in Coherence and Cohesion, it's crucial to organize your ideas more logically and link them smoothly. Start with a proper introduction and follow a clear paragraph structure: one idea per paragraph. Use transition words to connect ideas ('Firstly', 'Moreover', 'However') and keep the flow of your letter more natural. Avoid abrupt shifts in topic.
Writing Tone
To maintain a suitable writing tone, it's important to keep a balance between informality and clarity, appropriate for a letter to a friend. While it's alright to use conversational language, ensure that your message remains clear and your word choice is appropriate for the advice you're giving.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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