Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In
contemprary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
society,
sugar
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
show examples
has consistently aroused widespread interest and vigorous debate among the general populace.
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
prevailing view is that some sugary goods should be sold
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
to discourage
people
to purchase
Change preposition
from purchasing
show examples
. despite its contentious nature,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am
mpre
Correct your spelling
more
inclined to endorse
this
viewpoint. there are some reasons why
people
cannot eat too much
sugar
.
Firstly
, as we all know, some
dissert
Correct your spelling
dessert
show examples
and
baverage
Correct your spelling
average
have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
softy and good taste
due to
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large amount of
sugar
. if
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoyed
show examples
overly, it will
arise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
on our bodies like hard digestion, even as the main
resource
Correct your spelling
source
show examples
of energy and it will transfer the fat, which probably
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to obesity.
Secondly
, sugary
naturely
Correct your spelling
nature
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children,
plus
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if it sells cheaply, it can be obtained easily, so children can unlimited intake the
sugar
to get
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
happy, which obviously is
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
dietary structure and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
malnutrition. adjusting
high
Add an article
the high
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
to sell sugary products can solve
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
problem
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
some extent. on the one hand, expensive foods can directly tell
people
the high amount of
sugar
, so allows
people
to buy other healthy food
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
some fruit or
vegatables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
.
on the other hand
, high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
can remind
people
of the cost of
sugar
manufacture, so it can make a difference
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
healthy
dietary
Replace the word
diet
show examples
. In conclusion, because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
negative impact of high-
sugar
content, I
insistly
Correct your spelling
insistently
insist
insisted
agree that increasing the
price
of sugary products with the consideration of
people
's health can
is
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
a good practice, which can prevent
people
to consume
Change preposition
from consuming
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
overly
Rephrase
excessively
show examples
.
Submitted by liuq63145 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure that you organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea with clear topic sentences.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your essay starts with an introduction that outlines the topic and your viewpoint and ends with a conclusion that summarizes your argument and restates your position.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay provides a complete response to the question, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on clarity and precision in your writing. Avoid overly complex sentences and ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples or real-world evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: