In the future, people may nolonger be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might not be happy using cash?

#future #people #nolonger #shops #cash #payments #card #phones

From

this

point

fordward

Correct your spelling

forward

, all payments have to be made by card or using

Correct article usage

a phones

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

phones

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

. As

the

Correct article usage

show examples

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

perhaps

people

no longer be able to pay using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cash for shopping. I could not agree more with

this

statement. In recent

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

development as we could say 4.0 era has been developing into various

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

and

affect to

Wrong verb form

affecting

show examples

our daily basis

incluiding

Correct your spelling

including

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

transactions.

This

phenomenon will guide

people

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

those alter. It would be easier and simpler to imagine

people

only

bring

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

for any

purposes

Fix the agreement mistake

purpose

show examples

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

in the

coffe

Correct your spelling

coffee

shop

Add a comma

shop,

show examples

we just need

scan

Fix the infinitive

to scan

show examples

qris for any payments and done, we do not

need

Add the particle

need to

show examples

take

our

Change the word

the

show examples

rest money and it is means we use

lessstorage

Correct your spelling

less storage

Furthermore

, how

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

nice to imagine that we have

giving

Change the verb form

given

show examples

up using cash owing to the reason of health safety. As we know displacement of money from one

hands

Change to a singular noun

hand

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

worst

Add an article

the worst

show examples

thing I could say

due to

money can be

place

Correct article usage

a place

show examples

to pile up

germs

. The scientist

was made

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

research on it and it was proven

Correct your spelling

show examples

source of

germs

that potentially pathogen

caused

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

illnes

Correct your spelling

illnesses

in humans.

The one

Change the article

One

show examples

of those

germs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

E. coli and

Clostrisium

Correct your spelling

Clostridium

defficile

Correct your spelling

difficult

, most

caused

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

diarrhea

Change the spelling

diarrhoea

show examples

and others serious

ilness

Correct your spelling

illness

. In conclusion, I believe

people

may no longer

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

cash

due to

all payments will be

able

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

either by

debits

Fix the agreement mistake

debit

show examples

or smartphone in the future. The main

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

are we entering

4.0

Correct article usage

the 4.0

show examples

era which is all of our daily needs will always be connected to technology and for

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

it may

conduct

Verb problem

cause

show examples

a lot of

germs

caused

Verb problem

to cause

show examples

illness.

Submitted by Keterolac on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on improving the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples appropriately.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your introduction effectively paraphrases the task and clearly presents your viewpoint. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion without introducing new information.

Task Achievement

Elaborate your points with more relevant and specific examples. This will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Work on the clarity of your ideas. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single concept that is clearly stated and developed.

General

Review grammar and vocabulary. Avoid repetitive language and aim to use a wider range of vocabulary. Pay attention to sentence structure to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, people may nolonger be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might not be happy using cash?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many people have suggested that young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in their local community. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?