In the future, people may nolonger be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might not be happy using cash?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
From
this
point
fordward
Correct your spelling
forward
, all payments have to be made by card or using
Correct article usage
a phones
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
phones
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phone
show examples
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
perhaps
people
no longer be able to pay using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cash for shopping. I could not agree more with
this
statement. In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
technology
Replace the word
technological
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development as we could say 4.0 era has been developing into various
aspect
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aspects
show examples
and
affect to
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affecting
show examples
our daily basis
incluiding
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including
make
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making
show examples
transactions.
This
phenomenon will guide
people
to
following
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follow
show examples
those alter. It would be easier and simpler to imagine
people
only
bring
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bringing
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their
phone
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phones
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for any
purposes
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purpose
show examples
.
For
instance
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instance,
show examples
in the
coffe
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coffee
shop
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shop,
show examples
we just need
scan
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to scan
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qris for any payments and done, we do not
need
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need to
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take
our
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the
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rest money and it is means we use
lessstorage
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less storage
.
Furthermore
, how
it
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apply
show examples
nice to imagine that we have
giving
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given
show examples
up using cash owing to the reason of health safety. As we know displacement of money from one
hands
Change to a singular noun
hand
show examples
to
other
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the other
show examples
hands
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hand
show examples
is
worst
Add an article
the worst
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thing I could say
due to
money can be
place
Correct article usage
a place
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to pile up
germs
. The scientist
was made
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
research on it and it was proven
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
source of
germs
that potentially pathogen
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
illnes
Correct your spelling
illnesses
in humans.
The one
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One
show examples
of those
germs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
E. coli and
Clostrisium
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Clostridium
defficile
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difficult
, most
caused
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cause
show examples
diarrhea
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diarrhoea
show examples
and others serious
ilness
Correct your spelling
illness
. In conclusion, I believe
people
may no longer
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cash
due to
all payments will be
able
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
either by
debits
Fix the agreement mistake
debit
show examples
or smartphone in the future. The main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
are we entering
4.0
Correct article usage
the 4.0
show examples
era which is all of our daily needs will always be connected to technology and for
healthy
Replace the word
health
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reason
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reasons
show examples
it may
conduct
Verb problem
cause
show examples
a lot of
germs
caused
Verb problem
to cause
show examples
illness.
Submitted by Keterolac on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on improving the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples appropriately.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction effectively paraphrases the task and clearly presents your viewpoint. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion without introducing new information.
Task Achievement
Elaborate your points with more relevant and specific examples. This will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single concept that is clearly stated and developed.
General
Review grammar and vocabulary. Avoid repetitive language and aim to use a wider range of vocabulary. Pay attention to sentence structure to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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