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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map and chart below show the information for the global willingness to eat insect products and the current price for certain food available on the market place. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map and chart below show the information for the global willingness to eat insect products and the current price for certain food available on the market place. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The map and chart below represent the statistics about
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
willingness
Use synonyms
 to eat
insect
Use synonyms
 food and recent prices for some food available on the marketplace.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that Asian
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as China and Thailand have significant percentages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global
willingness
Use synonyms
 to eat
insect
Use synonyms
 products. To commence with
countries
Use synonyms
 with low preferences for
insect
Use synonyms
 products were Russia,Spain and the UK, which made up 32 % of Russia, 33 % of Spain, and 36% of the UK, respectively.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 there are
countries
Use synonyms
 with similar numbers
such
Linking Words
 as Australia and the USA, which accounted for 32 % and 35%, respectively. When it comes to
countries
Use synonyms
 with opposite trend
such
Linking Words
 as China,Thailand and Mexico, which comprised 44 % for China, 56 % for Thailand and 71 % for Mexico.
According to
Linking Words
 the
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 there are tendency
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 global
willingness
Use synonyms
 in South America
such
Linking Words
 as Brazil and Peru, which accounted for 45 % and 56 % , respectively. It may be concluded from the map and chart that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regions like South America and Asia have
Use synonyms
willingness
Correct article usage
a willingness
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
insect
Use synonyms
 products. On
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 side there are Europe and North America .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words willingness, insect, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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