Some people believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness, while others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
have different views on happiness and the stage of happiness in their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
While
many people
find the happiest period is being a child, some argues
that adulthood Change the verb form
argue
are
more joyful than childhood. I believe Change the verb form
is
people
should enjoy and be happy in every stages
and Fix the agreement mistake
stage
moments
of their Fix the agreement mistake
moment
life
.
On the one hand, there is a variety of reason
why children are having the best time of their Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
life
. Children do not have to consider about
their career prospects, cost of living, Change preposition
apply
expensive
rents, which are highly concerned when they grow up. All they need to do is to enjoy the moment of playing with peers and family or watching TV programmes. Individuals are stress-free, without any anxious or depressed thoughts in childhood. Correct word choice
or expensive
Hence
, childhood is the period when people
can experience pure joy and excitement.
On the other hand
, I believe adults can enjoy and feel happiness in different stages of life
. Firstly
, adults can enjoy the freedom that children could not
have. Individuals can make decisions and choices that they desire. Wrong verb form
cannot
For example
, adults can decide to live on their own or with their parents with no restriction
as they are financially independent. Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
Secondly
, Individuals can enjoy a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment when they achieve success in their jobs and family, which young kid
could not be felt. Fix the agreement mistake
kids
Finally
, elder people
may experience of
joy after retirement or without any health concerns Remove the preposition
apply
whey
they get old. Correct your spelling
when
Hence
, people
can enjoy or feel a variety of joy
as they Fix the agreement mistake
joys
have been gaining
more experiences or adventures than a child does.
In conclusion, despite the various stages of Wrong verb form
gain
life
, people
should enjoy and cherish every moment of their life
.Submitted by katarinachiu on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Expand your examples to demonstrate clearly how adults can find happiness in ways that children cannot, such as through professional achievements, financial independence, or the joy of having one's own family. This will strengthen your argument and provide more depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly around specific themes or examples. For instance, dedicate a separate paragraph to discussing the freedom and decisions adults can make, and another to the satisfaction from achievements. This would enhance the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You could improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and across paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'On a similar note' can help to create a smoother flow of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!