An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their apperance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There is no doubt that the advancement in technologies
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
help
to expand Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Change preposition
apply
on
healthcare Change preposition
apply
such
as plastic Linking Words
surgery
.Nowadays,many people choose to have cosmetic surgeries to improve one's Use synonyms
apperance
.Correct your spelling
appearance
However
,I think Linking Words
Linking Words
this
trends have both negative and positive sides.In the next paragraph,I will explain the reasons why Change the determiner
these
do
people have operations to look better in detail.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Firstly
,one of the positive sides of Linking Words
this
Linking Words
developlments
is boost a Correct your spelling
development
developments
person
self-esteem.Having plastic Change noun form
person's
surgery
helps enhance their confidence levels and improve their appearance.Use synonyms
For example
,Linking Words
young
adult with a lump on their back needs Add an article
a young
a
Remove the article
apply
surgery
to improve the posture of their Use synonyms
body
.Next,some older adults have a right to maintain a younger and more vibrant look.Use synonyms
Besides
,Linking Words
this
can help them to stay positive and happy.
Linking Words
In contrast
,the Linking Words
sugeries
might have Correct your spelling
surgeries
a
negative Correct article usage
apply
impacts
on their bodies if individuals have been addicted to cosmetic procedures Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
such
as infection and Linking Words
malfuction
of their Correct your spelling
malfunction
body
parts.Use synonyms
For example
,if a person Linking Words
having
a laceration on the Wrong verb form
has
body
parts Use synonyms
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
need
weeks or maybe months to heal, Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
same
goes Correct article usage
the same
as
cosmetic Change preposition
for
surgery
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
,people Linking Words
tends
to overdo Change the verb form
tend
Linking Words
this procedures
Change the determiner
this procedure
these procedures
are
because of influence of the social media Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as Linking Words
Tik-Tok
,Facebook and others.Correct your spelling
TikTok
For example
,in Linking Words
Korean
,beauty standards are high,so many parents encourage their kids under the knife to look more beautiful.
In conclusion,anaplasty Correct your spelling
Korea
prosedure
has Correct your spelling
procedure
a
good and bad Correct article usage
apply
in
both sides.Change preposition
on
Therefore
,there Linking Words
are
nothing wrong Change the verb form
is
to feel
pretty but Change preposition
with feeling
exaggerate
may Wrong verb form
exaggerating
effects
one's Correct your spelling
affect
body
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure a more comprehensive analysis of both the reasons people opt for cosmetic surgery and its implications. Address the question directly by elaborating on your viewpoint regarding its positivity or negativity. Additionally, providing more specific examples to support your arguments will make your response more complete and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by structuring your essay more logically and ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Also, consider revising your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and reflective of the essay’s main points.
general
Carefully proofread your essay to correct spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors. Proper use of language contributes significantly to the clarity of your argument and overall readability of your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.