The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The blow diagram
diplays
Correct your spelling
displays
the process of making
cement
and what equipment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
used,
next,
producing concrete aimed at constructing buildings
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
cement
is pictured.
Overall
, it is readily apparent that the final product (concrete) is made of Limestone and Clay,
subsequently
, water, sand and small stones, called Gravel,
also
are added.
Firstly
,Limestone and clay pass the crusher and powder is the result.
Furthermore
, a mixer is in the way
befor
Correct your spelling
before
the powder
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
heated in
rotating
Correct article usage
a rotating
show examples
heater,
then
grinder
Correct article usage
the grinder
show examples
is the final stage and bags are ready to be filled
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
cement
after passing that.
Secondly
, in concrete
production
Add a comma
production,
show examples
it is clear that
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
import which is buildings-concrete
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
four different
ingredient
Change to a plural noun
ingredients
show examples
such
as water and sand,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
percentages are 10% and 25% respectively.
Moreover
, the biggest portion of goods is Gravel,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accountent
Correct your spelling
accountant
50%
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cement
accupied
Correct your spelling
occupied
just 15% of the product. All these materials are added
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
other in the concrete mixer.
Submitted by amirhossein7179 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cement production
  • concrete formulation
  • building materials
  • extraction
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • rotating kiln
  • grinding
  • packaging
  • ratios
  • construction
  • industry
  • limestone
  • clay
  • sand
  • gravel
  • water
  • concrete mixers
  • sequential stages
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