IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The blow diagram
diplays
Correct your spelling
displays
 the process of making
cement
Use synonyms
 and what equipment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used,
next,
Linking Words
producing concrete aimed at constructing buildings
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
 is pictured.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that the final product (concrete) is made of Limestone and Clay,
subsequently
Linking Words
, water, sand and small stones, called Gravel,
also
Linking Words
 are added.
Firstly
Linking Words
,Limestone and clay pass the crusher and powder is the result.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a mixer is in the way
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 the powder
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 heated in
rotating
Correct article usage
a rotating
show examples
 heater,
then
Linking Words
grinder
Correct article usage
the grinder
show examples
 is the final stage and bags are ready to be filled
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
 after passing that.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in concrete
production
Add a comma
production,
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 import which is buildings-concrete
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
 four different
ingredient
Change to a plural noun
ingredients
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as water and sand,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
 percentages are 10% and 25% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the biggest portion of goods is Gravel,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accountent
Correct your spelling
accountant
 50%
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
accupied
Correct your spelling
occupied
 just 15% of the product. All these materials are added
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other in the concrete mixer.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cement production
  • concrete formulation
  • building materials
  • extraction
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • rotating kiln
  • grinding
  • packaging
  • ratios
  • construction
  • industry
  • limestone
  • clay
  • sand
  • gravel
  • water
  • concrete mixers
  • sequential stages
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