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Band 2.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
A large number of people prefer to
work
 in one organization without
change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
 it.
While
,
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apply
show examples
 others think that to
work
 in more than one department is more
successfuly
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
. To
begein
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, those who think staying in the first place that they
work
 in it help them to understand and feel more comfortable with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 staff.
Moreover
, some
idividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 when they keep working in the same company will transfer their job level to the best
satution
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situation
.
For example
, in some
companies
Add a comma
companies,
show examples
 the
maneger
Correct your spelling
manager
 gives those excellent and older staff
with
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apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
upgrade functional as a reward for them. For that, an army of
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 love to set in the same organization over the age.
On the other hand
, a large number of
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 like to
work
 in different organizations for many reasons. First of all, all companies have different
experince
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experience
experiences
 and that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to learn new information about working life.
Besides
 that, meeting thousands of people and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working with them will
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
 a lot of
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
 skills
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 language and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 under
prusure
Correct your spelling
pressure
. And all those
staff
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staffs
show examples
 will use their new skills and what they had
learn
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learned
show examples
 to start
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own company. All in all,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in one
departement
Correct your spelling
department
 over our age may
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 us to get
perfect
Add an article
a perfect
show examples
 level,
However
, different
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 working develop our life and job skills.
Submitted by hafsaalbadi199 on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. This involves discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear opinion. Aim to develop each point with specific examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, it's crucial to organize your essay clearly. This means having a distinct introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusive paragraph. Transition words should be used to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the use of linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively, thus improving the essay's overall flow and coherence.
General Advice
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Regular practice and proofreading can significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
General Advice
When offering examples, ensure they are detailed and directly related to the argument or point you're making. This strengthens your essay by offering concrete evidence to support your statements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
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