IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have seen an advertisement from a couple who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a year. Write a letter to the couple. In your letter, • explain why think you would be suitable for this job; • say what else you can do for this family; • give your reasons for wanting the job

#advertisement #couple #australia #someone #two #children #language #year #job
I am writing to express my interest in the job of Russian
language
 teacher for your
children
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I'm a recent university graduate, my best intelligence and teaching make me an excellent teacher. Actually, I had a job,
which was taught
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 three
children
 of
Correct article usage
a Chinese's
show examples
Chinese's
Change noun form
Chinese
show examples
 family. I have taught my
language
 to them during the eight months
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 speaking and some useful
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
in the Russian
language
. I
hadn't
Verb problem
didn't
show examples
 find any difficulties
while
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my courses, because I am
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good at
Chinese
Change the article
the Chinese
show examples
language
 too. I had
planned
Add the particle
planned to
show examples
 continue my lesson for the
children
, but their parents said that was enough education for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they were so excited when they heard
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
children
's fluent speaking in my
language
. And the couple's
children
 will
be learn
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 other things which are connected with their interests . If you
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
agree to my job, I will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
teach not only Russian, but
also
 I will
improve
Rephrase
also improve
show examples
 your
children
's mental skills.
Additionally
, I have
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 method for
improve easily
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
children
's
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 studying.
And
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
 method
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 suggested by
professor
Add an article
a professor
the professor
show examples
 who is working
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 my university. I want to choose your invitation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because my mother is Australian and I know your
language
 well. And I hope that contact with your
children
 won't be difficult . I believe that my skill - set perfectly matches your
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 and I look forward
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
 response.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Nozigul
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve the task response, ensure that each aspect of the topic is addressed separately and comprehensively. You talked about your suitability and reasons for wanting the job but could elaborate more on additional skills or services you could offer to the family.
logical structure
Work on developing a clearer structure within your letter. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, follow up with supporting details, and conclude the paragraph by reinforcing your initial point.
greeting and closing
Ensure you begin with a proper greeting, such as 'Dear [Name]' and conclude with a more formal closing, such as 'Yours faithfully,' followed by your name. This will enhance the overall professionalism of your letter.
single idea per paragraph
Maintain a single idea in each paragraph for better coherence. Expand on each idea with examples or detailed explanations to fully support the point being made.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • TESOL certification
  • Experience in teaching children
  • Knowledge of Australian culture
  • Passion for language education
  • Flexible and adaptable
  • Design customized lesson plans
  • Patient and understanding
  • Strong communication skills
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Participate in family activities
  • Enthusiasm for cultural exchange
What to do next:
Look at other essays: