The Chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed men and women of different employment status. Write at least 150 words.
The bar chart ilustrates about the number of
time
regarding leisure time
that both women
and men
have in different employment status. Overall
, It can be seen that men
have most
free Rephrase
more
time
than women
.
With regards to employment status, women
that
do not have any Correct pronoun usage
who
occupation
have most free time
at almost 80 hours
, compared to the men
that
obtained over 80 Correct pronoun usage
who
hours
. Women
also
get more time
when they have passed their career and enjoy the pensionary, however
the men
that have same position owned greater number of hours
. After that, Fix the agreement mistake
females
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
that
decided to handle Correct pronoun usage
who
Correct article usage
apply
the
all Correct article usage
apply
Change preposition
apply
of
households Change preposition
apply
also
have
more Wrong verb form
had
time
for themselves to enjoy and do some Replace the word
amusing
amusement
Replace the word
amusing
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
activity
, Fix the agreement mistake
activities
in contrast
men
would like
to get their leisure Wrong verb form
liked
hours
when they were in Add a hyphen
full-time
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
work.
Turning to patterns, it clearly shows that both men
and women
that
still have no Correct pronoun usage
who
occupation
and enjoy the retired phase are likely to have similar
number of leisure Change the article
a similar
the similar
time
. Women
potentially lost
their free Wrong verb form
lose
time
when they have
to do Wrong verb form
had
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
and part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
occupation
. Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
In contrast
, men
are likely to achieve their spare time
at their full-time
work. Based on bar chart also
notice that men
rarely to do typical part-time
occupation
than woman. Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
Change preposition
of male
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
also
did not be in Correct article usage
a housewives
housewives
position that Change the noun form
housewife
handle
the all of household things.Wrong verb form
handled
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in contrast".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, women, men, occupation, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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