Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

#people #music #schools #focus #computer #science

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Children

Use synonyms

are basically

fun loving

Add a hyphen

fun-loving

show examples

, agile and caring. They learn

while

Linking Words

they play. It is generally argued that apart from studying

subjects

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

should be

also

Linking Words

given some information about leisure

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

like art and music.

In contrast

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that

subjects

Use synonyms

like Science and

Computer

Fix the agreement mistake

Computers

show examples

should be focused

Change preposition

on more

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will

sheds

Change the verb form

shed

show examples

light on both perspectives and will end up with my personal opinion. At the onset, Apart from the main

subjects

Use synonyms

, institutions should add some leisure activities classes. By doing so,

this

Linking Words

can make the

children

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

grow their interest and

also

Linking Words

they will get some relief from their actual studies. Not only learning some

subjects

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

after

Change preposition

apply

show examples

getting

engage

Change the form of the verb

engaged

show examples

in these activities will give them

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to enhance

thier

Correct your spelling

their

skills.

For Instance

Linking Words

, In Japan, many organizations have a mandatory subject of Music in their subject.

This

Linking Words

allows the kids not only

enter

Fix the infinitive

to enter

show examples

a new field but

also

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to learn

this

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can even perform

this

Linking Words

art in their school function.

On the Other hand

Linking Words

, Many guardians believe that Computer and Science

subjects

Use synonyms

are mandatory for each

Use synonyms

children

Change to a singular noun

child

show examples

, as it has

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own importance. They prefer that these areas should be focused more. In

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

era, it is seen that to get in

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

career, there are two fields to get

achievemnet

Correct your spelling

achievement

achievements

and those areas belong to

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

two

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Nowadays in many countries, people are following the latest fashion, hairstyle and so on.what is influenced this? Is it a positive or a negative development.
In modern era, most people are interesting about lifestyle. For example, majority people always follow what the newest fashion, gadget, and hairstyle. Therefore, I discuss about why people is influenced it, and l thinks that it will bring more benefit for economy in the future.
5
band
Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today's urban landscapes, the choice of transportation mode sparks considerable debate between proponents of cars and bicycles. While some advocates for the convinience and comfort of cars in navigating the city streets, other emphasize the environmental and health benefits of cycling. In this essay, I will examine the both perspective, weighing the pros and cons of each mode of transportation before presenting my own reasoned opinion.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
For several countries, economic growth is the most crucial purpose, whereas, a group of individuals present the view that other types of improvements are of paramount importance for a country. I strongly agree with the latter opinion.
5.5
band
Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent years, many people believe that museums should be a place which provides entertainment to people. On the other hand, many individuals suppose museums must be an area where people learn new education. In this essay I will discuss both points of views and share my opinion.
6
band
Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished and what measure can be taken to tackle this problem?
After serving their sentences, many individuals return to criminal activities, a phenomenon often attributed to the inadequate quality of rehabilitation programs in prisons. This issue, however, can be remedied by imposing stricter penalties on offenders.

Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays in many countries, people are following the latest fashion, hairstyle and so on.what is influenced this? Is it a positive or a negative development.

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished and what measure can be taken to tackle this problem?