IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people hesitate between getting a job and starting their own business. While the idea of not having a boss and working on one's own schedule may sound tempting, financial risks and stress sometimes outweigh these advantages. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of working in a company?

#people #job #business #idea #boss #schedule #sound #risks #stress #company
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
work
 to get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 income is very important to all
people
 around the world.
However
, some
people
 find it
duffuclt
Correct your spelling
difficult
 whether to
work
 for companies or start
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
their own
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
,
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 they think that will be better for
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 not
shuould
Correct your spelling
should
stack
Replace the word
stacked
show examples
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
 the schedule of company time
work
 and no boss check after them. I think that having
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
business
 will force many
dufficult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 but
also
 the advantage will be more.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
 think that
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
show examples
 of
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 having
boss
Correct article usage
a boss
show examples
 is
verytempting
Correct your spelling
very tempting
 because
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 can
work
 without any prsser that can be from
boss
Correct article usage
the boss
show examples
 or manager, which will help
people
 to
work
 more
affectively
Correct your spelling
effectively
show examples
.
However
, the
royle
Correct your spelling
role
 of
manager
Add an article
a manager
the manager
show examples
 is important to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 the goals of
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 and control the
work
.
Fouthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, should be there
work
 rules and all
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 should
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 on above
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that. what is more, time of
work
 may
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
be another
reasone
Correct your spelling
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 that want to
star
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 own
business
, as
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
work
 in almost all companies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 longer, and employees should
work
 for more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 7 hours per day. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 won
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 will
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
 some real
iusse
Correct your spelling
issues
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fitnancial
Correct your spelling
financial
 risks. the most important thing
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 businessmen
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 to control
thir
Correct your spelling
their
business
 and get
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 during the year.
In addition
, the stress of
loss
Replace the word
losing
show examples
business
 and
Correct article usage
the dufficult
show examples
dufficult
Correct your spelling
difficult
difficulty
 of
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 on one level of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
For instance
, many businessmen may
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any point of the stage which will impact the benefit of
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
. In conclusion, after careful analysis of
Correct article usage
the point
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
Change preposition
of views
show examples
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, I believe that the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for companies are more important but should not
depand
Correct your spelling
depend
 on the salary only that get from
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
.
people
 should think of
start
Change the verb form
starting
show examples
 own
business
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any stage of their life.
Submitted by Abdullah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Improve essay structure with a more defined introduction, supporting paragraphs, and conclusion. Begin with a clear thesis statement outlining your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using linking words appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs. Thoroughly develop each idea with clear, concise statements.
task response
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt. Incorporate specific examples that clearly support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors to improve readability and professionalism.
task response
Consider thoroughly the pros and cons, providing balanced views and clear, well-supported arguments for each perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: