In many countries more and more young people are leaving schools but unable to find a job. What problem do you think youth unemployment causes for individuals and for societies? What measures should be taken to reduce level of unemployment for youngsters.

#countries #people #schools #job #youth #unemployment #individuals #societies #measures #level #youngsters

Years

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Year

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after

years

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year

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huge amounts of students are passing out from

school

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schools

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, colleges and

university

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universities

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with the hope of

bright

Correct article usage

a bright

show examples

future. But the reality is different after coming out from

the

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apply

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education. Not all

the

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apply

show examples

students are getting their dream

job

get

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getting

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settled with

desired

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their desired

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career.

Unemployement

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Unemployment

among youngsters is

the

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apply

show examples

one of the major

conserns

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concerns

nowadays.

This

situation is

casing

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causing

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so many undesired

oucomes

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outcomes

which has

negative

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a negative

show examples

impact on societies.

First

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The first

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most

Correct word choice

and most

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dangerous concern is

increased

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the increased

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crime rate. Scientific data analysis suggests that

unemployement

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unemployment

is one of the major gaslighting factors behind crime. These are educated

enempolyed

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unemployed

people with

humongus

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humongous

knowledge which is even more fatal.

Second

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The second

show examples

rising concern is drug abuse. In

Correct article usage

the absense

show examples

absense

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absence

of any motivating

force

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force,

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they get

attaracted

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attracted

towards quick dopamine

source

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sources

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and end up with drug addiction.

Third

Add an article

The third

A third

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concern is

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that youngesters

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youngesters

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youngsters

are getting

settle

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settled

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with unsatisfied

job

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jobs

show examples

infireor

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inferior

to their education level. Which is increasing

work place

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workplace

show examples

depression. All of

this

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these

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negative impacts are harmful

for

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show examples

the

societis

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societies

society

. There are certain measures that can be taken to solve

this

problem. With globalization, there are so many

job

opportunities

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

available regardless of time,

place

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and place

show examples

. From school, knowledge should be given about

this

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these

show examples

opportunities, how they can apply etc. In

this

internet era, earning is not only limited to 9-5 jobs, but freelancing is the big market for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

earning. Even youth should be adaptable as well,

instead

of sticking to only one sphere they should keep learning new things and expand their knowledge. These will

increse

Correct your spelling

increase

their probability

to end

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of ending

show examples

up with their desired

job

. In conclusion, as

this

problem

seem

Correct subject-verb agreement

seems

show examples

gigantic to solve,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

appropriate

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

show examples

and awareness can help today's youth to fight against it.

Submitted by pkrushi509 on Sat Feb 17 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on structuring your essay more clearly by introducing your main points in the introduction and then elaborating on each point in a separate paragraph. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider introducing a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to make transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother, enhancing the overall flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you have covered the causes and solutions for youth unemployment, incorporating more specific examples to support your claims will strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Try to include clear, specific illustrative examples to support each main point you make. This not only demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic but also makes your arguments more convincing.

Task Achievement

Avoid general statements and strive for specificity and detail in discussing both problems and solutions. This includes citing studies, statistics, or factual examples where possible to add credibility to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries more and more young people are leaving schools but unable to find a job. What problem do you think youth unemployment causes for individuals and for societies? What measures should be taken to reduce level of unemployment for youngsters.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space designs instead of separate rooms. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?