IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most companies and organizations requires their employees to wear uniforms to work. what are the jobs that need uniform? what are the disadvantages of wearing uniforms to work?

Wearing a
uniform
Use synonyms
 is required in some companies and organizations for people who
work
Use synonyms
 there.
Moreover
Linking Words
, society who has a job as a civil servant has
a rigid
Correct the article-noun agreement
rigid rules
a rigid rule
show examples
rules
Use synonyms
 related to their job's
outfit
Use synonyms
. There are some drawbacks related to
this
Linking Words
 requirement that will be discussed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay. Working in a government
institusion
Correct your spelling
institution
 requires their
Use synonyms
employment
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 to obey several
rules
Use synonyms
, needless to say,
Use synonyms
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
becomes
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 one of its regulations. In
indonesia
Change the capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
, people who
work
Use synonyms
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civil
servant
Fix the agreement mistake
servants
show examples
 has a different mandatory daily
outfit
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
show examples
 they must wear a white shirt with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
black
trouser
Fix the agreement mistake
trousers
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
thursday
Change the capitalization
Thursday
show examples
, the company requires them to wear
Use synonyms
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
show examples
 called "batik", and so on until the
last
Linking Words
 day of
work
Use synonyms
 in that week.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
employment
Replace the word
employee
show examples
 who breaks the
rules
Use synonyms
 will be punished.
This
Linking Words
 rigid regulation related to the attire in organizations brings some drawbacks
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in worker mentality. Having a monotone
uniform
Use synonyms
 will be
bored
Wrong verb form
boring
show examples
 and create
Correct article usage
an awkard
show examples
awkard
Correct your spelling
awkward
 atmosphere in
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
, meanwhile,
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
outfit
Use synonyms
 will boost their
employment
Use synonyms
 mood, because they can explore
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
 range of clothes and wear it as a platform to express
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
. Imagine, there is an
Use synonyms
employment
Replace the word
employee
show examples
 who fan of anime
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
love
Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
show examples
 to cosplay as one of her
idol
Change to a plural noun
idols
show examples
, and suddenly, she should change her style because of that regulation, for sure it will change her mood and impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her performance of working. Especially, the way people style their
Use synonyms
outfit
Fix the agreement mistake
outfits
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 nothing to do with their performance. In conclusion, having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
rules
a rule
show examples
rules
Use synonyms
 related to
Use synonyms
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
are
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not
bringing
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a significant impact on
Use synonyms
employment's
Change noun form
employment
show examples
 performance,
otherwise
Linking Words
, it has a possibility to lower their spirit to
work
Use synonyms
 and will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their achievement.

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Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Discuss both specific jobs that require uniforms and the disadvantages of wearing uniforms with more depth and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, structure your essay more logically. Start with an introductory paragraph, have clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
To strengthen your main points, support them with more detailed examples and explanations. This helps to make your arguments more convincing and relevant to the topic.
Language Accuracy
Be mindful of grammar and spelling to ensure your ideas are being communicated clearly. Frequent errors can distract the reader and make your arguments less convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mandatory attire
  • Professional ensemble
  • Dress code
  • Corporate identity
  • Branding
  • Safety gear
  • Team cohesiveness
  • Institutional image
  • Employee morale
  • Personal expression
  • Uniformity
  • Hierarchy
  • Workwear
  • Standardized attire
  • Individuality
  • Cost implications
  • Sustainability issues
  • Comfort fit
What to do next:
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