The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The two pie graph compare percentages

about

Change preposition

show examples

the amount of energy produced in one nation from some different reserves in 1985 and 2003.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is notable that oil resource was the highest producer of energy in both

years

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

other renewable

source

Fix the agreement mistake

sources

show examples

provided the lowest percentages over the

tow

Correct your spelling

two

show examples

years

Use synonyms

. Looking at some details, oil generated more electricity in 1985 at 52%

whereas

Linking Words

in 2003 the production showed a decrease of 13 %. Another reduction was witnessed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Nuclear production since its percentage suffered a decline from 22% to 17%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Coal and Natural gas experienced a slight rise of 5% and 10%, Coal

jump

Wrong verb form

jumped

show examples

from 8% to 13%

while

Linking Words

Natural gas from 10% to 23%.

Finally

Linking Words

, Hydrogen was the element which did not

shoed

Verb problem

show

show examples

a change in the two

years

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

resource generated 4%

Change preposition

show examples

both

years

Use synonyms

jasielglz40Sun Feb 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

143 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

energy generation
renewable resources
non-renewable resources
sustainable energy
percentage
shift
decline
emergence
traditional energy sources
comparative analysis
speculate
advancements
environmental concerns
adaptation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter
My name is Nisa and I rented one of your accommodations in 8 White Lily Street, Perth, Western Australia. I am writing to complain about some furniture condition in our place.
7.5
band
many peaple think that their children shoud focus on one types of books to wht extent do you agree
Nowadays, many parents are concerned about encouraging their children to read. Some believe children should focus on specific topics, while others argue they should read anything that interests them. I strongly agree with the latter view, as I believe all types of reading are beneficial for a child’s development. In this essay, I will explain my reasons.
6.5
band
The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one-third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over: What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation?
The predicted decline in birth rates and the aging population in developed countries will have significant social and economic effects. By 2030, with over one-third of the population aged 65 and over, several key challenges will arise.
6.5
band
Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.
Recent times have, no doubt, witnessed an emergence of students pursuing their studies at educational institutions in English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America. There can be several possible reasons which draw students to study in English. This essay intends to explain these causes along with answering why English has become such a prominent dialect of the world.
8
band
Some feel governments should invest primarily in educating the young, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that education for the youth should be the priority of the government's investment plan, while others opine that resources should be utilized somewhere else. Although education would help a nation to progress, I believe that investment priority should be given to the health sector.

The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter

many peaple think that their children shoud focus on one types of books to wht extent do you agree

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Some feel governments should invest primarily in educating the young, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.