IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Last week, you visited a local supermarket and you got saticfactory service. Write a letter to the supermarket manager to thank. In your letter: -introduce yourself; -say why you are satisfield; -say thank you and write about your future visits;

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Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Khusan Esomurodov and I belong to Uzbekistan. I was born
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in 2006

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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2006
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in 2006

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 year. I am
businessman
Add an article
a businessman

The noun phrase businessman seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. At the moment, I am working in the International Tourism field. My age is 18. I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to the supermarket manager to thankfulness.
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I am telling your very big gratitude. I go to
the
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apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before your. Consider deleting the article.

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your shop.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as, there is got me
saticfactory
Correct your spelling
satisfactory

If you don’t want saticfactory to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

service, bring
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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from
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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different meals for me. Especially, fried
fishs
Correct your spelling
fish

If you don’t want fishs to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and roasted meat. Servants are very wonderful, handsome, mildly and extremely outgoing. Foods are exceedingly delicious.
Waters
Correct article usage
The waters

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 are tidy.
Rooms
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The rooms

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 are quite beautiful and magnificent. I am expressing
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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very good thankfulness. Doing
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thus
Correct your spelling
this

The word thus doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, it is increasing. I
am desiring
Wrong verb form
desire

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb am desiring. Consider changing it.

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 success
to
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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for you, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I am
supporting
Correct pronoun usage
supporting you

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. In the future, I am visiting
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before your. Consider deleting the article.

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your
cozy
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cosy

The spelling of cozy is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 store. I will eat your famous meals and sweet foods. I have always been a friend, philosopher and guide to you.
Undoubted
Change the word
Undoubtedly

Undoubted seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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, I am
beeing
Correct your spelling
being

If you don’t want beeing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends

It seems that friend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 with you. Yours faithfully, Khusan Esamurodov

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task achievement
It's great that you introduced yourself and expressed satisfaction; however, the introduction could be more concise and relevant to the context of visiting the supermarket. For tasks like this, consider providing directly related information about your visit rather than broad personal details.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. While you’ve structured your letter into paragraphs, some parts seem unrelated or abruptly introduced. Transition phrases can help create a smoother flow between sentences.
task achievement
Use specific examples to say why you are satisfied instead of general statements. Mentioning particular aspects of service or products that impressed you will make your appreciation more impactful.
coherence cohesion
End your letter on a note that directly relates to your experience and intention to return. While your closing does this, ensuring it's more connected to the body of your letter will make your conclusion feel more integrated.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. Using the correct form of words ('satisfied' instead of 'saticfactory,' for instance) and maintaining consistency in tenses will improve the clarity of your message.
task achievement
Work on the overall tone of your letter. While it's good to maintain a positive tone, the use of exaggerated praise ('very wonderful, handsome, mildly and extremely outgoing') feels unnatural. Aim for a professional yet friendly tone.
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