IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities,therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
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All
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 different
quality
Fix the agreement mistake
qualities
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
jobs
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more suitable for
women
Use synonyms
 and some for
men
Use synonyms
.I disagree with that opinion and I will highlight the reason why in the following essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
,all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 opportunities to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 involve it for
men
Use synonyms
 or
women
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,they should be received
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal
Change the word
equally
show examples
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
 others.
For example
Linking Words
,some people think
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 but not true,two genders can teach and look after
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to various
ecperience
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
 and create new
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 or
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
 for the child.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the world
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many
jobs
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
 together.
This
Linking Words
 means the chance not just for ladies but for
gentlements
Correct your spelling
gentlemen
 too.
For instance
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,
men
Use synonyms
 are not patient and care about the
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 like
women
Use synonyms
 do,so that
job
Use synonyms
need
Verb problem
requires
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 to be strict in mental health and
women
Use synonyms
 have responsibilities to look after and reduce the
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of
child
Add an article
the child
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,there are some
jobs
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 can do better than
women
Use synonyms
.Because there are some works
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
strong
Replace the word
strength
show examples
 so that
women
Use synonyms
 can do
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better than
men
Use synonyms
.
Like carry
Change preposition
For carrying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
,
men
Use synonyms
 can do
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
 than
women
Use synonyms
 because they have health better than female.
This
Linking Words
 will be true but just in
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
 health,except
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 can do the same
jobs
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
men
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 should
be received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
 the same
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and take the same equal.
This
Linking Words
 is because all the genders can do the same
job
Use synonyms
 and
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 good.So we must cancel the idea that certain
jobs
Use synonyms
 are suitable with
men
Use synonyms
 and others for
women
Use synonyms
.
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logical structure
Focus on presenting your ideas clearly and logically. Try using a basic essay structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should discuss one main point and provide examples or reasons to support it.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present but can be improved. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion to make your argument more impactful.
supported main points
To support your main points, include more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
complete response
Ensure that you completely answer the question by discussing both sides of the argument if required and providing a clear opinion. It's important to cover all aspects of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in your ideas. Present them in a straightforward and understandable manner. Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas and enhance the clarity of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Make use of specific examples to support your ideas. These examples should be relevant and detailed to effectively illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
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