Many claims that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today it is
common
Correct article usage
a common
belif
that Correct your spelling
belief
fas
Correct your spelling
the
food
industry influences on environment,eating style and society in detrimental
way.I agree with Change the article
a detrimental
this
statement to a maximum extent and my essay will elabarote
on Correct your spelling
elaborate
this
in the following paragraphs.
Firs
of all, all these junk Correct your spelling
First
food
companies have harmful
impact on youngsters and children, who are big fans of fast Add an article
a harmful
food
and fond of eating outdoors. The main reason why there is a sharply growing trend on unhealthy food
,
Remove the comma
apply
because
they are cheap,fast and tasty. Add a missing verb
is because
Also
we can observe Add a comma
Also,
an enormous ads
Correct the article-noun agreement
enormous ads
an enormous ad
about
fast Change preposition
for
food
in colloboration
with Correct your spelling
collaboration
celebrity
, who have Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
significant
influence on young Add an article
a significant
audience
. Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
For
instance
famous Add a comma
instance,
kazakh
singer Toregali Toreali is Change the capitalization
Kazakh
ambassador
of Add an article
an ambassador
the ambassador
halal
burger company, which is well known in Kazakhstan. Correct article usage
the halal
Consequently
many families who are his followers Add a comma
Consequently,
orders
what he presents on his Correct subject-verb agreement
order
instagram
page.
When it comes to the second negative effect, there is no doubt that eating Change the capitalization
Instagram
tremendous
amount of fatty Add an article
a tremendous
food
can lead to obesity and another issues
with health. Replace the adjective
another issue
other issues
According to
the statistics our country is on
Change preposition
in
the
second place in Central Asia by the number of overweight people who Correct article usage
apply
also
suffer from heart diseases. This
is a clear evidence
that Remove the article
clear evidence
a piece of clear evidence
a shred of clear evidence
major
part of our population is altering their eating habits.
Correct article usage
a major
Besides
, we should not forget about environmental issues, which can be caused by improper
approach of human Add an article
the improper
being
to wastes from daily life Fix the agreement mistake
beings
food
usage. For example
, many factories, which produce plastics for those companies contribute to air pollution and water contamination.
It may be concluded from the essay that it is undeniable that fast
Correct article usage
the fast
food
industry causes considerably
both social and environmental problems around the world. Because society and ecology are now under the disastrous influence of Change the word
considerable
this
mentioned industry.Submitted by kassymov_99 on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the essay's structure by ensuring a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While the essay has these elements, further refining the transitions and connections between paragraphs will enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structure and avoiding repetitive sentence beginnings to create a more engaging and dynamic text.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples and data when possible, as this will make your points more convincing and grounded in reality.
task achievement
Address the prompt more directly by clearly stating your stance in the introduction and developing it consistently throughout the essay. While your position is implied, being explicit will make your response stronger.
coherence cohesion
Mind the spelling, grammar, and syntax errors in your essay. Consider practicing punctuation and word choice to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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