Some people think that men and women have different qualities Therefore some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sexual distinction has been one of the most serious problems
on
around the world Change preposition
apply
during
many decades. Change preposition
for
Although
it is
reduced dramatically in recent modern society, Wrong verb form
has been
this
still occurs in some
certain aspects Correct quantifier usage
apply
such
as occupation. This
writer strongly disagrees with this
statement and believe
that gender equality should be prioritized.
Despite having different characteristics, Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
both
genders have main factors leading to success. Obviously, intelligence and sensitivity play a pivotal role in successful
career, particularly business and Add an article
a successful
both
men and women can also
have these features. Take Sheryl Sandberg who is the CEO of Facebook which is the biggest entertaining app on
the world Change preposition
in
for instance
. When mentioning to
Change preposition
apply
this
social media network, people usually think about Mark Zuckerberg who is the founder; however
, in order to turn into popular at the moment, the contribution of Sheryl Sandberg is priceless.
Another key consideration is that women, nowadays, become more sociable and they are willing to face risks in order to confirm their ability which completely contrasts with their shyness in the past. In this
era, female become
tougher with their decisions Change the verb form
becomes
instead
of being afraid of the
pinching from others. The most obvious evidence is sports, especially football Correct article usage
apply
that
not only men but Correct word choice
where
also
their female counterparts can also
enjoy this
game and play some exciting matches. For example
, Nguyen Huynh Nhu, who is the captain of Vietnam
national female football team, is the symbol of Change noun form
Vietnam's
this
country due to
her successful career in Portugal.
In conclusion, although
both
male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
still have some limitations, they have the right to Fix the agreement mistake
females
purchase
their passion and are Verb problem
pursue
also
allowed to enjoy their own life. Hence
, this
writer argues that people in both
genders can do whatever jobs as long as they love it and can earn living money on it.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Introduction and Conclusion: Ensure the introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, restating your opinion. It was good that both were present but strive for more precision and directness in presenting your viewpoint.
logical structure
Logical Structure: Your essay should have a logical flow, with each paragraph introducing a new point that supports your overall argument. Consider using clearer transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
supported main points
Supported Main Points: Provide more diverse examples and evidence to support your main points. While the examples given are relevant, incorporating varying forms of evidence (e.g., statistical data, studies, or a wider range of examples) could enhance your argument.
complete response
Complete Response: Address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay touches on the main points but could delve deeper into why certain perceptions exist and how overcoming these stereotypes can be beneficial to society.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clear, Comprehensive Ideas: Ensure each paragraph presents a clear and focused point. While you have good ideas, refining and focusing each paragraph's main idea could improve comprehension and impact.
relevant specific examples
Relevant, Specific Examples: Continue to use specific examples as you did with Sheryl Sandberg and Nguyen Huynh Nhu, as they strengthen your argument. Remember to explain how each example supports your claim in more depth.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?