Task 2: Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are two controversial perspectives heating a debate over the fact in
this
day and age that most scientific research
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
are
financed and carried out by private firms Correct subject-verb agreement
is
instead
of the governor. In my opinion, the benefits of this
can do
greater than its cons.
On the one hand, when private companies pay Verb problem
be
money
and conduct scientific research
there are various benefits. To be more specific, most enterprises' primary objectives are profits so they will utilize various methods in order to minimize the total cost. Therefore
, they will strictly order their scientist to follow the deadlines with a view to prevent
wasting Change the verb form
preventing
money
, time consuming
and precious resources. Add a hyphen
time-consuming
As a
result
the product of their firm will be manufactured Add a comma
result,
quicker
and more Correct quantifier usage
more quicker
money
-efficient. Furthermore
, if the government lets private companies carry out scientific research
it can help them reduce the pressure on the financial budget and allocate money
for other crucial firms such
as education or the environment.
On the other hand
, I think if the government lets private businesses sponsor or undertake scientific research
it will bring about significant drawbacks. First,
because the company has to spend a huge amount of money
on their budget to do all the research
so
they won’t let them Correct word choice
apply
to
be freely used, Change the verb form
apply
instead
if a person wants to have full access right
to all the study information it is obligatory for them to pay a certain fee. Correct word choice
apply
Secondly
, it is very difficult for the government to ensure that scientific research
is under their supervision. Because of the profits
the enterprises can sell their products Add a comma
profits,
for
Change preposition
to
the
dangerous criminals who want to use them to harm Correct article usage
apply
the
society
In Correct article usage
apply
my
conclusion, there are some demerits Correct pronoun usage
apply
appear
if the Governor let private companies fund their Correct pronoun usage
that appear
money
and conduct of
scientific Change preposition
apply
research
however
it can’t overcome its meritsSubmitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the topic given. The essay seems to discuss the role of private firms in scientific research rather than the responsibility for environmental protection. This indicates a departure from the task requirements.
task achievement
Develop clear, relevant examples to support your arguments. The ideas presented were general and lacked specific examples directly related to the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each main point, and a conclusion. This structural framework was present, but your introduction and conclusion should more directly address the task.
coherence cohesion
Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. While some attempts were made, the usage of cohesive devices could be improved to ensure a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Check for task relevance. Make sure your essay directly answers the question asked, staying focused on the topic. This is crucial for achieving a higher score in task achievement.