Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion on this?

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In different countries around the world, there are
two
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types of
schools
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, one where male and female
students
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are mixed and
those
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
uni-sex. There are
two
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opposite views regarding the benefits of each of these
typed
Replace the word
types
show examples
of
schools
Use synonyms
. I personally believe that
schools
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registering both genders are more
adantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
. Considering educating pupils together
two
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main benefits can be mentioned. The first and foremost upside is that
students
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in a
mixed gender
Add a hyphen
mixed-gender
show examples
schhool
Correct your spelling
school
schools
have an opportunity to educate themselves about the other gender’s characteristics.
This
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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, in
turn
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turn,
show examples
can help them to build successful relationships in the future. Another positive point with
this
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educational system is that it
stimulate
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stimulates
show examples
an environment for
students
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which is very similar to what they will encounter at their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
in their adulthood.
This
Linking Words
can definitely help both girls and boys to have more successful job experience. These
two
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points
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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very
strong
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strongly
show examples
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
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showing how mixed
education
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can positively affect
student’s
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students’
show examples
life
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lives
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in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are people who support the idea of separating boys and girls at
schools
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. One of the positive aspects
at
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of
show examples
this
Linking Words
approach is that
such
Linking Words
schools
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can better
educated
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
their
students
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by focusing on their unique needs and talents in terms of their gender.
In addition
Linking Words
, when boys and girls, are separated, their level of distraction will obviously decrease during their learning sessions.
This
Linking Words
point has been actually concluded by a survey conducted in 2010 by
Add an article
the ministry
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ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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of
Use synonyms
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
among teenagers with an age range of 13 to 17. Given the above reasons, one may argue that separated
schools
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are more
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
to reach
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in reaching
show examples
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
educational role. In conclusion, both of these educational systems have their own benefits.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
education
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in a
mix
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mixed
show examples
environment is by far more beneficial than
education
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in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
schools
a school
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
where pupils of different
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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Introduction/Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines your position. It's important to ensure that these sections succinctly summarize your main points and stance.
Coherence
Your essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas, but some paragraphs would benefit from clearer topic sentences. Make sure each paragraph starts with a sentence that clearly states the main idea you will discuss.
Supporting Information
You supported your points with explanations, but incorporating more specific examples or evidence would strengthen your argument. Consider adding real-life examples, statistics, or quoting acknowledged authorities to validate your points.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are relevant and contribute to a full answer to the task; however, try to more precisely address the prompt by directly stating how tidiness in homes and workplaces specifically connects to your discussion points. Refocus slightly to ensure you're fully engaging with the exact topic provided.
Transitions
For coherence, aim to improve transitions between paragraphs and within them. Smooth transitions will help your essay to flow more naturally. Phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' can signal the relationship between ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • organised
  • clutter-free
  • productivity
  • mental clarity
  • efficiency
  • professionalism
  • first impressions
  • ergonomics
  • aesthetically pleasing
  • compulsive neatness
  • functional space
  • minimising distractions
  • systematic arrangement
  • time management
  • work-life balance
  • streamline
  • feng shui
  • optimal performance
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