IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that men and women hav different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for meen and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #hav #qualities #jobs #meen
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In today’s society, many people believe that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 have different qualities, leading to the assumption that certain jobs are better suited for individuals of a specific
gander
Correct your spelling
gender
show examples
.
However
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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 notion.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that men and women may exhibit differences in physical attributes and characteristics, I believe that these differences should not be the sole criteria for determining job suitability. In today’s modern workforce, emphasis should be placed on meritocracy and equal opportunities for all individuals, regardless of
gender
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.
This
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 approach ensures that talent and potential are recognized and rewarded irrespective of
gender
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.
Furthermore
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, perpetuating the belief that certain jobs are inherently suited to one
gender
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 over the other not only reinforces outdated
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes but
also
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 perpetuates discrimination and inequality in the workplace. By adhering to
such
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 beliefs, society limits opportunities for both men and women to pursue their interests and maximize their potential. In conclusion,
while
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 some argue for the alignment of certain jobs with specific genders based on perceived differences in qualities, I firmly reject
this
Linking Words
 notion.
Gender
Use synonyms
 should not serve as a determining factor in assessing an individual’s ability to perform a job effectively.
Instead
Linking Words
, emphasis should be placed on meritocracy, equal opportunities, and diversity in the workforce. By embracing inductivity and challenging
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes, we can create a more equitable and prosperous society for all individuals, regardless of their
gender
Use synonyms
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported throughout. Using topic sentences can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Make use of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, therefore, however) more effectively to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Refer explicitly back to the prompt in the conclusion to ensure a complete response to the task.
task achievement
Incorporate detailed, relevant examples to support your arguments, making them more convincing.
general
Double-check for any grammatical errors or typos that could distract from your message. Aim for clarity and precision in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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