Some people think that men and women have different qualities,therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
In the current era, many
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
believed
that the suitability of jobs Wrong verb form
believe
depended
on the gender of the people who select them Wrong verb form
depends
due to
the different characters . Thus
, this
writer totally disagree
with Change the verb form
disagrees
this
point and will give more details in the essay below.
First of all, if having particular jobs just appropriate for only one sex , it will cause the
inequality for others . Correct article usage
apply
From many
years ago, many people thought that Change preposition
Many
,
Remove the comma
apply
nurse
Fix the agreement mistake
nursing
is
Wrong verb form
was
the
career Correct article usage
a
just
Rephrase
only
the
women Correct article usage
apply
can
doWrong verb form
could
,
Correct word choice
and, the
the
army or police Correct word choice
that the
is
apt for men.Wrong verb form
was
However
, in the modern period, in the hospitals , we can see the
male nurses. They are really very great even some better than other Correct article usage
apply
gender
. Not only that, in Fix the agreement mistake
genders
Vietnamese
Army Force, we can easily catch the female. They play an essential role in Correct article usage
the Vietnamese
this
aspect when they manage the finance
, supply the food or take care of everybody.
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
Furthermore
, the freedom of choosing career
Correct article usage
a career
also
acknowledge
a vital role in Correct subject-verb agreement
acknowledges
development
of that country. When people can take part in Add an article
the development
tehir
Correct your spelling
their
favorite
field, they will make more contributions to Change the spelling
favourite
this
Correct determiner usage
these
aspects
. Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
Therfore
, they will make an effort to contribute and develop the country better than Correct your spelling
Therefore
anothers
. Taking Nguyen Thi Binh as a prime example, she is one of the representatives of Vietnam in signing Correct your spelling
others
of
the Paris Agreement to gain Change preposition
apply
the
peace for the country. Thanks to her intelligence,flexibility and linguistic fluency, she and Le Duc Tho were successful in bringing Correct article usage
apply
the
peaceful life for native humans.
In conclusion, there are several particular careers Correct article usage
a
were
thought Wrong verb form
that are
that
not suitable for certain Correct word choice
apply
gender
but Fix the agreement mistake
genders
this
point is really very deviant. Therefore
, remeber
that others can Correct your spelling
remember
do
, Correct pronoun usage
do it
you
can too.Correct word choice
and you
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While you mentioned that you disagree, make your thesis statement more explicit by summarizing the reasons behind your opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main ideas more thoroughly. Each body paragraph should explore a distinct reason supporting your view, supported by specific examples or evidence. Try to expand on your examples by explaining how they directly support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the organization of your essay. Use clear paragraphing, with each paragraph having a clear main idea introduced by a topic sentence. This will make your essay easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider closely proofreading your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. Correct usage of language will not only make your essay more coherent but also more professional in appearance. For example, 'peopel' should be 'people', 'tehir' should be 'their', and 'deviant' should be 'deviating' or 'incorrect'.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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