Some people think that men and women have different qualities,therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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In the current era, many
peopel
Correct your spelling
people

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believed
Wrong verb form
believe

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb believed. Consider changing it.

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that the suitability of jobs
depended
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depends

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb depended. Consider changing it.

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on the gender of the people who select them
due to
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the different characters .
Thus
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,
this
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writer totally
disagree
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disagrees

The plural verb disagree does not appear to agree with the singular subject this writer. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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with
this
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point and will give more details in the essay below. First of all, if having particular jobs just appropriate for only one sex , it will cause
the
Correct article usage
apply

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inequality for others .
From many
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Many

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years ago, many people thought that
,
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apply

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nurse
Fix the agreement mistake
nursing

It seems that nurse may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

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the
Correct article usage
a

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career
just
Rephrase
only

There may be an adverb issue here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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women
can
Wrong verb form
could

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb can. Consider changing it.

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do
,
Correct word choice
and, the

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the
Correct word choice
that the

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army or police
is
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

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apt for men.
However
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, in the modern period, in the hospitals , we can see
the
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apply

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male nurses. They are really very great even some better than other
gender
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genders

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. Not only that, in
Vietnamese
Correct article usage
the Vietnamese

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Army Force, we can easily catch the female. They play an essential role in
this
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aspect when they manage the
finance
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finances

It seems that finance may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, supply the food or take care of everybody.
Furthermore
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, the freedom of choosing
career
Correct article usage
a career

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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also
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acknowledge
Correct subject-verb agreement
acknowledges

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a vital role in
development
Add an article
the development

The noun phrase development seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of that country. When people can take part in
tehir
Correct your spelling
their

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favorite
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favourite

The spelling of favorite is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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field, they will make more contributions to
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Linking Words

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this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect

It seems that aspects may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Therfore
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Therefore

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, they will make an effort to contribute and develop the country better than
anothers
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others

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. Taking Nguyen Thi Binh as a prime example, she is one of the representatives of Vietnam in signing
of
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apply

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the Paris Agreement to gain
the
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apply

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peace for the country. Thanks to her intelligence,flexibility and linguistic fluency, she and Le Duc Tho were successful in bringing
the
Correct article usage
a

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peaceful life for native humans. In conclusion, there are several particular careers
were
Wrong verb form
that are

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb were. Consider changing it.

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thought
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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not suitable for certain
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders

It seems that gender may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but
this
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point is really very deviant.
Therefore
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,
remeber
Correct your spelling
remember

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that others can
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it

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,
you
Correct word choice
and you

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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can too.
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While you mentioned that you disagree, make your thesis statement more explicit by summarizing the reasons behind your opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main ideas more thoroughly. Each body paragraph should explore a distinct reason supporting your view, supported by specific examples or evidence. Try to expand on your examples by explaining how they directly support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the organization of your essay. Use clear paragraphing, with each paragraph having a clear main idea introduced by a topic sentence. This will make your essay easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider closely proofreading your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. Correct usage of language will not only make your essay more coherent but also more professional in appearance. For example, 'peopel' should be 'people', 'tehir' should be 'their', and 'deviant' should be 'deviating' or 'incorrect'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
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