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Writing Samples
Band 3

The increase in production and consumption of meat has resulted in the destruction of the natural environment. What is the cause?What can be done to solve the problem?

#production #consumption #meat #destruction #environment
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Over the years the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who consume
meat
Use synonyms
 in huge amounts has resulted in the destruction of the natural environment.
People
Use synonyms
 use
meat
Use synonyms
 for different purposes, for eating or feeding pets. Mostly they prefer beef, mutton, fish,
chicken
Correct word choice
and chicken
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
, and mostly peasants love pork.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main cause of
Add an article
the
show examples
destruction of the natural environment is that
people
Use synonyms
 consume
meat
Use synonyms
 very often, and because of
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
 there is a lack of
meat
Use synonyms
 in many countries.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are many regions that have small amounts of edible animals. Other countries have a
lot
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 of living creatures.
For example
Linking Words
, Azerbaijan has a
lot
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 of hills and fields, that's why
this
Linking Words
 country is rich
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its nature. In some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 the crowd uses
meat
Use synonyms
 for meaningless proposals. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
people
Use synonyms
 produce artificial
meat
Use synonyms
 and sell it
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 inflated prices. Particularly, It is harmful to our health but there are a
lot
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 of
people
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 that don't make sense of it.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the government can buy
meat
Use synonyms
 from another country and sell it in their own country, so as not to affect
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 to be healthy and have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of proteins. It will make
people
Use synonyms
 stronger. In conclusion, I
ponder
Verb problem
think
show examples
 that every
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should advertise vegetarianism in order to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
spread unhealthy solutions like artificial
meat
Use synonyms
 or other proteins.
Submitted by muradismailbayli on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more logically. Start by clearly stating the problem, then move onto causes, followed by solutions, ensuring a smoother flow of information.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your essay stronger and your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the topic. Your introduction should outline what you plan to discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your main points and opinion.
task achievement
Avoid general statements and try to address the question directly. Be clear about the causes and the specific solutions you are proposing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intensive farming practices
  • deforestation
  • feed crops
  • resource-intensive
  • environmental degradation
  • antibiotics and hormones
  • pollutes
  • methane emissions
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • global warming
  • plant-based diets
  • sustainable farming practices
  • rotational grazing
  • agroforestry
  • environmental footprint
  • policies and incentives
  • public awareness
  • responsible consumption
  • lab-grown meat
  • alternative protein sources
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