The increase in production and consumption of meat has resulted in the destruction of the natural environment. What is the cause?What can be done to solve the problem?

Over the years the number of
people
who consume
meat
in huge amounts has resulted in the destruction of the natural environment.
People
use
meat
for different purposes, for eating or feeding pets. Mostly they prefer beef, mutton, fish,
chicken
Correct word choice
and chicken
show examples
meat
, and mostly peasants love pork.
Firstly
, the main cause of
Add an article
the
show examples
destruction of the natural environment is that
people
consume
meat
very often, and because of
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
there is a lack of
meat
in many countries.
Secondly
, there are many regions that have small amounts of edible animals. Other countries have a
lot
of living creatures.
For example
, Azerbaijan has a
lot
of hills and fields, that's why
this
country is rich
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
its nature. In some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
the crowd uses
meat
for meaningless proposals. To solve
this
problem,
people
produce artificial
meat
and sell it
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
inflated prices. Particularly, It is harmful to our health but there are a
lot
of
people
that don't make sense of it.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the government can buy
meat
from another country and sell it in their own country, so as not to affect
people
.
This
will help
people
to be healthy and have a
lot
of proteins. It will make
people
stronger. In conclusion, I
ponder
Verb problem
think
show examples
that every
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should advertise vegetarianism in order to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
spread unhealthy solutions like artificial
meat
or other proteins.
Submitted by muradismailbayli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more logically. Start by clearly stating the problem, then move onto causes, followed by solutions, ensuring a smoother flow of information.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your essay stronger and your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the topic. Your introduction should outline what you plan to discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your main points and opinion.
task achievement
Avoid general statements and try to address the question directly. Be clear about the causes and the specific solutions you are proposing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intensive farming practices
  • deforestation
  • feed crops
  • resource-intensive
  • environmental degradation
  • antibiotics and hormones
  • pollutes
  • methane emissions
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • global warming
  • plant-based diets
  • sustainable farming practices
  • rotational grazing
  • agroforestry
  • environmental footprint
  • policies and incentives
  • public awareness
  • responsible consumption
  • lab-grown meat
  • alternative protein sources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: