IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart bellow shows the percentage of car trips by purpose and genders in 2015.

The chart bellow shows the percentage of car trips by purpose and genders in 2015.
The diagram identifies the proportion of car journeys
those
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are used by male and
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
 drivers
according to
Linking Words
 the reason and sex in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the statistics indicated those the majority of
men
Use synonyms
 applied for car trips for work and recreation.
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
women
Use synonyms
 recycled motors for shopping, visiting friends, courses and banks. Look in detail , approximately 52% of autos are used by
men
Use synonyms
 for working compared to 38% which are used by
women
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of
men
Use synonyms
 who applied for vehicle recreation is huge for
women
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
women
Use synonyms
 recycled motors into courses , visited friends, shopped and ran errands compared to
men
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a normal result because females are more active in social issues than males

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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