IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments must apply high taxes to provide good public services for everyone. Give your opinion

#people #governments #taxes #services
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Debates around appropriate
tax
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rates
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 have long been in existence.
While
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 some people are of the opinion that higher
tax
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rates
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 are required for
governments
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 to provide great public systems for
citizens
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, others are of the opinion that higher
tax
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rates
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 do not equal great public
services
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.
This
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 essay will argue in favour of the former, that higher
tax
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rates
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 do indeed equate
better
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to better
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 public
services
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,
although
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 not all classes of individuals and companies should be taxed equally. Around the world,
citizens
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 rely on the government for
services
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 &
basic
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and basic
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 infrastructure
such
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 as roads, electricity, and health care systems. These
services
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 are largely funded by taxes paid by individuals and corporate entities. As more monies are realised from taxes, the higher the chances of
governments
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 improving
on
Change preposition
apply
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the quality of
services
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can deliver. Multiple researches have shown that countries with high
tax
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 regimes like Canada enjoy better quality and even more public
services
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 than countries with low
tax
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rates
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 like India. Obviously, there is a direct correlation between
tax
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rates
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 and
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of public
services
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.
However
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, fairness should be exercised when applying taxation
rates
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. Individuals and organisations should be taxed
according to
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 their earnings, where higher earnings equal higher taxes and vice-versa.
High earning
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High-earning
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citizens
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 and companies should be incentivised to counteract the chances of people losing motivation to work towards climbing the economic hierarchy.
For example
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, Canada implements a tiered taxation system based on income classes and
also
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 gives incentives
such
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 as reduced interest
rates
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 on loans to high earners.
To sum up
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, if
tax
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rates
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 are too high, there may be negative consequences.
Thus
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, care must be taken in formulating taxation systems that promote equity, justice and fairness.
This
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 essay argued that high
tax
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rates
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 by
governments
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 no doubt result in improved
services
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 for its
citizens
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 but the principle of fairness and equity should be considered when setting these
rates
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. In my opinion, it is important that
governments
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 find the right amount of
tax
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 to institute per income class whilst deploying incentives so that it is fair for all.
Submitted by hueybakare on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in task achievement, make sure to elaborate on relevant, specific examples to support your points. While you provided a good amount of detail, incorporating more distinct examples, with concrete data or studies when possible, can further solidify your arguments and make them more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure a smoother flow between sections. Although your essay is structured well, using varied transitions and structuring sentences differently can improve readability and the logical flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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