IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common view that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have different characteristics,
therefore
Linking Words
 some
jobs
Use synonyms
 are more suitable for
men
Use synonyms
 and some for
women
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement and will explain
further
Linking Words
 in the essay. It is vital to understand that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have different personalities, which means they can only do certain
jobs
Use synonyms
 that are suitable for them. It will be difficult for them to do
jobs
Use synonyms
 that do not suit them and
this
Linking Words
 may reduce their performance.
For instance
Linking Words
, most
fashion
Use synonyms
designers
Use synonyms
 are female, because they have a better sense of
fashion
Use synonyms
 and can distinguish colours better than male
designers
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why many successful
fashion
Use synonyms
designers
Use synonyms
 are
women
Use synonyms
. Another consideration is some
jobs
Use synonyms
 are physically demanding,
as a result
Linking Words
, these
jobs
Use synonyms
 are suitable for
men
Use synonyms
 because they have more muscle mass than
women
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 can only do
jobs
Use synonyms
 that are less strength-related.
For example
Linking Words
, police officers are mostly males, because
women
Use synonyms
 lack physicality compared to
men
Use synonyms
. They
also
Linking Words
 have bigger body frames so they can do heavy work. Chefs, teachers, and babysitters are females, as they can work with children and be more gentle with kids. In conclusion, some
jobs
Use synonyms
 are suitable for males, others for females. It will be very hard to do
jobs
Use synonyms
 which are not suitable for them,
jobs
Use synonyms
 which are physically demanding are appropriate for
men
Use synonyms
. Other work
such
Linking Words
 as chefs, teachers are appropriate for
women
Use synonyms
.
Fashion
Use synonyms
designers
Use synonyms
 who are successful are mostly females as they can differ in many colours, and design clothes better than
men
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task response, be sure to clearly address both sides of the argument, even if you are agreeing with one side. Present counter-arguments before stating why you maintain your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay's structure and organization. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly reflect your essay's main points.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with a wider variety of examples and more detailed explanations. This will make your arguments more compelling and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of overgeneralizing genders and their abilities. Consider adding nuances to your arguments by acknowledging exceptions and variations within gender roles.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a richer coherence and cohesion, use a broader range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: